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diagram of making chocolate

diagram of making chocolate p5EM0
The diagram despicts the process of making chocolate. Overall, the process is composed of various stages, beginning with cacao being planted in some areas, through distinct stages, ending with final chocolate being manufractured. At the benginning of the stage, cacao trees are grown some places, including South American, Africa as well as Indonesia, and then ripe cacao pods are harvested in cacao fields. Next, white beans are collected from ripe fruits by breaking their red pods before those beans are fermented in a large wooden box with some banana leaves being put under white beans. After fermentation in a certain period of time, the white beans are spread in a big tray under sunlight in order to dry those, which is also the reason why the color of beans turn dark brown at this stage. The process continues with dark brown beans being collected in big sacks, at which point these sacks are then loaded in trucks and taken to chocolate factories. Subsequently, Once those beans are roasted at high temperature around 350 degree in order to eliminate unwanted bacteria, clean beans are crushed with a machine to ensure that cacao shells are all removed. Eventually, the machine presses inner parts of beans so as to make chocolate liquid, which is considered a final product.
The diagram
Possible spelling mistake found.
despicts
the process of making chocolate.
Overall
, the process
is composed
of various stages, beginning with cacao
being planted
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas, through distinct stages, ending with final chocolate being
Possible spelling mistake found.
manufractured
.

At the
Possible spelling mistake found.
benginning
of the stage, cacao trees
are grown
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places, including South American, Africa
as well
as Indonesia, and then ripe cacao pods
are harvested
in cacao fields.
Next
, white
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are collected
from ripe fruits by breaking their red pods
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are fermented
in a large wooden box with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
banana
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
being put
under white
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
. After fermentation in a certain period of time, the white
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are spread
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
tray under sunlight in order to dry those, which is
also
the reason why the color of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
turn dark brown at this stage.

The process continues with dark brown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
being collected
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
sacks, at which point these sacks are then loaded in trucks and taken to chocolate factories.
Subsequently
, Once those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are roasted
at high temperature around 350 degree in order to eliminate unwanted bacteria, clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are crushed
with a machine to ensure that cacao shells are all removed.
Eventually
, the machine presses inner parts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
chocolate liquid, which
is considered
a final product.
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IELTS academic diagram of making chocolate

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
215 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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