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describe graph on the number of trips children aged 5-12 have made using different means of transportation in 1990 and 2010

describe graph on the number of trips children aged 5-12 have made using different means of transportation in 1990 and 2010 6KoLl
This graph provides information on the number of trips children aged 5-12 have made using different means of transportation in 1990 and 2010 to go to and come back from school in a country. There has been rapid growth in the number of children travelling through car, as in 1190 it was just above 4 million and in 2010 it is estimated to be around 11 million. In contrast, there has been an enormous decline in the number of children walking to school. While in 1990 it was more than 12 million, in 2010 it is just 6 million trips. There isn’t a significant change to the number of trips to school by bus. In 1990 it was about 7 million and in 2010 it came down to approximately 5 million. However the number of trips to school by cycling reduced to 2 million and the number of trips to school by walking and bus reduced to about 3 million in 2010.
This graph provides information on the
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number
of
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trips
children aged 5-12 have made using
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different
means of transportation in 1990 and 2010 to go to and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back from
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school
in a country.

There has been rapid growth in the
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number
of children travelling through car, as in 1190 it was
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just
above 4
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million
and in 2010 it
is estimated
to be around 11
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million
.
In contrast
, there has been an enormous decline in the
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number
of children walking to
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school
. While in 1990 it was more than 12
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million
, in 2010 it is
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just
6
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million
trips.

There isn’t a significant
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change
to the
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number
of
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trips
to
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school
by bus. In
The comma is probably missing here: "1990, it".
1990 it
was about 7
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million
and in 2010 it came down to approximately 5
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million
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
to
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school
by cycling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
by walking and bus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to about 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 2010.

IELTS academic describe graph on the number of trips children aged 5-12 have made using different means of transportation in 1990 and 2010

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
162 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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