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Percentage of young people at university

Percentage of young people at university Pk7Ld
The bar graph illustrates the percentage of people who were young at a particular university in the years between 2000 and 2007. Overall, it is clear seen that Finlandʼs rate was the highest in 2000. However, Polandʼs rate was the highest. In 2000, the percentage of young people in Finland was than other countries and reached a plateau to 70%. Poland and Norwayʼs rate were 64% and 65% continued their upwards. The lowest percentage of young people was in Italy, Spain, UK. But later Italy and UKʼs rate surged slightly while Spainʼs rate slumped. After 7 years, all rates almost changed and Polandʼs rate took the lead and reached at 78% in 2007 Finlandʼs rate stayed the same rate from the figure of 2000. Norwayʼs rate collapsed slightly. The percentage of young people in Italy and UK saored marginally, increases of 14% and 12% from the figure of 2000. Spainʼs rate dwindled minimally and continued its dawnward. In 2007 it was the lowest.
The bar graph illustrates the
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percentage
of
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people
who were
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young
at a particular university in the years between 2000 and 2007.
Overall
, it is
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clear
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
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Finlandʼs
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rate
was the highest in 2000.
However
,
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Polandʼs
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rate
was the highest. In 2000, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
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young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Finland was than other countries and reached a plateau to 70%. Poland and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Norwayʼs
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rate
were 64% and 65% continued their upwards. The lowest
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percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
was in Italy, Spain, UK.
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But
later Italy and
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UKʼs
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rate
surged
slightly
while
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Spainʼs
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rate
slumped. After 7 years, all
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rates
almost
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changed
and
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Polandʼs
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rate
took the lead and reached at 78% in 2007
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Finlandʼs
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rate
stayed the same
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rate
from the figure of 2000.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Norwayʼs
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rate
collapsed
slightly
. The
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percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Italy and UK
Possible spelling mistake found.
saored
marginally
, increases of 14% and 12% from the figure of 2000.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Spainʼs
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rate
dwindled
minimally
and continued its
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dawnward
. In
The comma is probably missing here: "2007, it".
2007 it
was the lowest.
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IELTS academic Percentage of young people at university

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
163 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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