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Crimes in Manchester City

Crimes in Manchester City 3LRLn
This line graph shows the changing numbers of three different crimes in Manchester city center between 2003 and 2012. Overall, burglary happened most frequently among the three crimes in the city until 2006. However, it became less and less common over the 10-year period. On contrast, the number of car theft climbed gradually and surpassed burglary in 2007. Looking at the chart more closely, one can see that Burglary was more common than in any other year in the given time period in 2004. However, it shrunk to a third in the year 2008, plummeting between 2006 and 2007. It climbed a little bit in 2009 and didn’t make any major change until 2012. Meanwhile, the number of car theft that happened in Manchester city in 2012 was significantly higher than in 2003. It reached its peak among the measured years in 2012. Finally, robbery didn’t experience any big rise or fall except for the little increase between 2003 and 2005.
This line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the changing numbers of three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
crimes in Manchester city center between 2003 and 2012.

Overall
, burglary happened most
frequently
among the three crimes in the city until 2006.
However
, it became less and less common over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
10-year
period. On contrast, the number of car theft climbed
gradually
and surpassed burglary in 2007.

Looking at the chart more
closely
, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that Burglary was more common than in any other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time period in 2004.
However
, it shrunk to a third in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2008, plummeting between 2006 and 2007. It climbed a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
in 2009 and didn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
until 2012. Meanwhile, the number of car theft that happened in Manchester city in 2012 was
significantly
higher than in 2003. It reached its peak among the measured years in 2012.
Finally
, robbery didn’t experience any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
rise or fall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
increase between 2003 and 2005.

IELTS academic Crimes in Manchester City

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
161 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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