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Chart analysis between women and men's earnings for years

Chart analysis between women and men's earnings for years G30qo
The chart shows us difference weekly earnings for men and women by age. Chart also includes graduation effect for earning money by age. According to the chart for non-graduated people start earning money long before graduated people. For the ages between 16-19 compering the women and men earning levels it has seen a similarity. For these ages can be said there is no gender difference between women and men. İnstead of age between 16-19 there is a gender discrimination for all other parts of chart. Especially during the years, this discrimination is just getting bigger. For an example for the ages between 30-39 men’s weekly earnings are mostly like 600 pound, whereas women’s weekly earnings close to 400 pound. The difference between the earnings is almost %35. The chart also shows us men’s weekly earning have grown up by age. But there is another story for women. According to chart, women have no chance to increase their earnings over the years. Overall, the chart shows us there is a big difference between men’s and women’s earnings by ages.
The
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chart
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shows
us
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difference
weekly
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earnings
for
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men
and
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women
by
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age
.
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Chart
also


includes graduation effect for
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earning
money by age.

According to the
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chart
for non-graduated
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
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earning
money long
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before
graduated

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people
. For the
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ages
between 16-19
Did you mean the verb "comparing" or the noun "compèring" (master of ceremonies)?
compering
the
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women
and
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men
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earning
levels it has
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seen


a similarity. For these
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ages
can
be said
there is no gender
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difference
between
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women
and

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.

Possible spelling mistake found.
İnstead
of
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age
between 16-19 there is a gender discrimination for all other parts of chart.

E
specially
during the years, this discrimination is j
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ust
getting bigger. For an example for the

ages between 30-39 m
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en’
s weekly
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earnings
are
mostly
like
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
600 pound
, whereas women’s

weekly
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earnings
close to
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
400 pound
. The
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difference
between the
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earnings
is almost %35.

The
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chart
a
lso
s
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hows
us m
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
en’
s weekly
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earning
have grown up by
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age
. B
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ut
there is another

story for
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women
. According to
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chart
,
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women
have no chance to increase their
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earnings
over

the years.

O
verall,
the
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chart
s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hows
us there is a b
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ig
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difference
between m
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
en’
s and
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women’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earnings
by

ages.
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IELTS academic Chart analysis between women and men's earnings for years

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
178 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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