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Cars thefts in four countries between 1991 and 1999

Cars thefts in four countries between 1991 and 1999 kWqr2
The line graph compares four particular nations in terms of car thefts between 1990 and 1999. It is clear from the graph that the number of stolen cars in Great Britain showed some variations, while the same figure for Sweden experienced a significant increase in the same period. However, there were some mild ups and downs in the proportion for France, whereas the figure for Canada registered a slight rise after a moderate decline. the proportion of stolen cars in Sweden reached a peak of 15000 in 1999 from a low of 5000 in the beginning of the given period. However, the index for Great Britain saw great variations, reaching a high of 20000 in 1996 falling to a low of about 17000 at the end of the same period. On the other hand, in spite of the fact that the proportion of car thefts in France and Canada were equal to about 8000 and 7000 respectively, after some mild changes, the same figure for both countries ended up with 6000 in 1999.
The line graph compares four particular nations in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
thefts between 1990 and 1999.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the graph that the number of stolen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
in Great Britain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
variations, while the same figure for Sweden experienced a significant increase in the same period.
However
, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mild ups and downs in the proportion for France, whereas the figure for Canada registered a slight rise after a moderate decline.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
proportion of stolen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
in Sweden reached a peak of 15000 in 1999 from a low of 5000 in the beginning of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period.
However
, the index for Great Britain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
great variations, reaching a high of 20000 in 1996 falling to a low of about 17000 at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the same period.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
fact that the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
thefts in France and Canada were equal to about 8000 and 7000
respectively
, after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mild
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
, the same figure for both countries ended up with 6000 in 1999.
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IELTS academic Cars thefts in four countries between 1991 and 1999

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
173 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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