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Both the bar charts show the number of visitors to two cities named Seattle and Niagara Falls in 2012.

Both the bar charts show the number of visitors to two cities named Seattle and Niagara Falls in 2012. Overall, the number of tourists in Niagara Falls is bigger than the number of visitors in Seattle. In addition, both the cities experience the highest number of visitors in July and August, while in January and February it is the lowest for both of them. In January and February, the number of travelers is lowest throughout the year. In Seattle, it is below 500k where in Niagara Falls it is around 500k. However, the number of visitors gradually increases in both cities and reaches their highest number of travelers in July and August. The highest number of tourists in Seattle is 2 million while in Niagara Falls it is double. But the numbers of visitors plummet in the following months reaching its lowest in November for both the cities. Nevertheless, interestingly in December Seattle has only 200k visitors while in Niagara Falls it is around 10 times of Seattle reaching 2. 5 million visitors.
Both the bar charts
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show
the
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number
of
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visitors
to two
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cities
named Seattle and
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Niagara
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Falls
in 2012.

Overall
, the
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number
of tourists in
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Niagara
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Falls
is bigger than the
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number
of
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visitors
in Seattle.
In addition
, both the
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cities
experience the highest
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
in July and August, while in January and February it is the lowest for both of them.

In January and February, the
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number
of travelers is
A determiner is probably missing here: “the lowest”.
lowest
throughout the year.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
Seattle, it is below 500k where in
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Niagara
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Falls
it is around 500k.
However
, the
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number
of
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visitors
gradually
increases in both
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cities
and reaches their highest
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number
of travelers in July and August. The highest
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number
of tourists in Seattle is 2 million while in
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Niagara
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Falls
it is double.
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But
the
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numbers
of
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visitors
plummet in the following months reaching its lowest in November for both the
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cities
.
Nevertheless
,
interestingly
in December Seattle has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
200k
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
while in
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Niagara
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Falls
it is around 10 times of Seattle reaching 2. 5 million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
.
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IELTS academic Both the bar charts show the number of visitors to two cities named Seattle and Niagara Falls in 2012.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
173 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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