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Bird counts at Bharatpur Bird Sanctuary 2001-2014

Bird counts at Bharatpur Bird Sanctuary 2001-2014 nxD3o
The given line graph expresses the comparative data about the amount of 3 types of birds in Bharatpur Bird Sanctuary, from 2001 to 2014 In general, there were maximum of Flamingo birds all over the time, while Kingfishers remained at least count. In addition, the number of all types of birds had a significant rise throughout given period In 2001, the number of Flamingos, Black Beak Pelicans and Kingfishers were approximately at 3000, 1000 and 200. Subsequently, they reach 5000, 3000 and 1000 at the year of 2003. The following 2 years there was a major increase in all 3 categories of birds with some differences. By 2008, Black beak Pelicans and Flamingos decreased slowly, only Kingfishers had a slight rise. Afterwards, all kinds rose gradually and at the end of the period, there were 12500 Flamingos, 7500 units of Pelicans and 4200 Kingfishers.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph expresses the comparative data about the amount of 3 types of
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birds
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bharatpur
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Bird
Sanctuary, from 2001 to 2014

In general
, there were maximum of Flamingo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birds
all over the time, while Kingfishers remained at least count.
In addition
, the number of all types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birds
had a significant rise throughout
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period

In 2001, the number of Flamingos, Black Beak Pelicans and Kingfishers were approximately at 3000, 1000 and 200.
Subsequently
, they reach 5000, 3000 and 1000 at the year of 2003. The following 2 years there was a major increase in all 3 categories of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birds
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
differences.

By 2008, Black beak Pelicans and Flamingos decreased
slowly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Kingfishers had a slight rise. Afterwards, all kinds rose
gradually
and at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period, there were 12500 Flamingos, 7500 units of Pelicans and 4200 Kingfishers.
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IELTS academic Bird counts at Bharatpur Bird Sanctuary 2001-2014

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
144 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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