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Bar chart of games played during 2000 to 2006

Bar chart of games played during 2000 to 2006 9DPj
The char illustrates worldwide sales of four types of modern games from 2000 to 2006. Units are measured in billion and dollars. Overall, in the year 2000, only Console games and Handheld games were available; later on, in 2001, mobile phone games and 2002 online games were introduced. Hand games' sales are increasing sharply, where sales of the other three types of games increase steadily. In terms of Online games, it sold out below one billion in the year 2001, and then its sells rate increased progressively like in 2002 sells were close to one billion. In the year 2003, 2004, 2005 were approximately three billion, nearly four billion and under six billion sequentially and in 2006 it witnesses the highest sell slightly above six billion. On the other hand, Handheld games have considered the most sell of all three games. In the year 2001 started its journey with under twelve billion sells, it touches twelve billion margins in next year, in 2002 sells increase into thirteen billion, and in the year 2004 sells were around fifteen, billion where the year 2005 sell remained the same. In 2006 sells were jumped to eighteen billion. In addition to Console games, they face a sell decline over the period. In 2000 it had sold around six billion, unfortunately in 2001 sells of Console games decrease and turn to below six billion, then sells go down to five billion in 2002 and finally in 2006 total sells collapse to near three billion.
The char illustrates worldwide sales of four types of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
from 2000 to 2006. Units
are measured
in
Use "a billion" or use a number before 'billion'.
billion
and dollars.

Overall
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2000,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Console
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games
and Handheld
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
were available; later on, in 2001, mobile phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and 2002 online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
were introduced
. Hand games' sales are increasing
sharply
, where sales of the other three types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
increase
steadily
.

In terms of Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, it sold out below one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2001, and then its sells rate increased
progressively
like in 2002 sells were close to one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2003, 2004, 2005 were approximately three
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billion
,
nearly
four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
and under six
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
sequentially
and in 2006 it witnesses the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sell
slightly
above six billion.

On the other hand
, Handheld
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have considered the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sell
of all three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. In the
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year
2001
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
its journey with under twelve
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billion
sells, it touches twelve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
margins in
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, in 2002 sells increase into thirteen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
, and in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2004 sells were around fifteen,
Use "a billion" or use a number before 'billion'.
billion
where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2005
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sell
remained the same. In 2006 sells
were jumped
to eighteen billion.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
addition to Console
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, they face a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sell
decline over the period.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
The comma is probably missing here: "2000, it".
2000 it
had sold around six
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
, unfortunately in 2001 sells of Console
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
decrease and turn to below six
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
, then sells go down to five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
in 2002 and
finally
in 2006 total sells collapse to near three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
.

IELTS academic Bar chart of games played during 2000 to 2006

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
249 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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