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Bar chart about Brazil's economy

Bar chart about Brazil's economy 0p1P5
In this bar chart, we see how Brazil's economy stands still and which industries are more significent in their economy. As you can see in the chart most of the income comes from finance. But the growth in the food processing in 2019 twice as many in 2009. In 2019 Brazil makes some moves for making contry more financial than making it like tourism country and planning to do this more in the future. There is decrasing in the manufacturing indisturies over the past years and they are expecting this to go likte that in the future. In this chart Brazil's more stabilize incomes are tourism and gas industries and expecting to go like this till 2029. Brazil is planing to invest in finance more in the future and less to food processing and manufacturing.
In this bar chart, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how Brazil's economy stands
still
and which industries are more
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significent
in

their economy.

“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in the chart most of the income
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from finance.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the growth in the food processing in

2019 twice as
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many
in 2009. In 2019 Brazil
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
for making
Possible spelling mistake found.
contry
more financial than
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
making


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
like tourism country and planning to do this more in the future. There is
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decrasing
in the manufacturing

Possible spelling mistake found.
indisturies
over the past
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
years and
they are expecting this to go
Possible spelling mistake found.
likte
that in the future. In this
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
chart


Brazil's more stabilize incomes are tourism and gas industries and expecting to go like this till 2029.

Brazil is planing to invest in finance more in the future and less to food processing and manufacturing.

IELTS academic Bar chart about Brazil's economy

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
135 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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