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Analysis of canadian donations

Analysis of canadian donations NyGeb
The graph that will be analyzed in the following essay is about the donations that Canadians have made to people according to their age. To begin with the table is structured horizontally we can see the range of ages, divided into two categories 2000 and 20015. Vertically we can see the percentage of donations. By analyzing the graph we can see that most of the donations are for the age range of 35 to 49 that during 2000 obtained 39% of donation while in 2015 39%. Definitely the ages that receive the least donations are 18 to 24 years, it is really very little income in 2015 barely passed 10%, decreased income compared to 2000 that obtained twice as many donations 20%. In 2015 the age range that received more income was 50 to 64 years with about 40%.
The graph that will
be analyzed
in the following essay is about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donations
that Canadians have made to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
according to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the table
is structured
horizontally
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
, divided into two categories 2000 and 20015.
Vertically
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the percentage of donations.

By analyzing the graph we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donations
are for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
range of 35 to 49 that during 2000 obtained 39% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donation
while in 2015 39%.

Definitely the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
that receive the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donations
are 18 to 24 years, it is
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
income in 2015
barely
passed 10%, decreased income compared to 2000 that obtained twice as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donations
20%.

In 2015 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
range that received more income was 50 to 64 years with about 40%.
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IELTS academic Analysis of canadian donations

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
139 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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