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Adult Education Reasons and Their Costs

The given bar chart indicates seven topics which are the reasons that impact on decision of people to study while the pie chart presents the three item that describe the rate of education costs for each course in terms of people. Overall, there are the comparison of two charts to explain the results of a survey of reasons about education necessities and the costs of contents for each education. As can be seen from the bar chart, there are different consequences for studying requirements in a survey. Interest in subject has the highest ratio at 40%, while to meet people has the lowest ratio at 9%. To improve prospects of promotion and Enjoy learning/studying have the same percentages by 20%. According to the pie chart, there are three pattern which ought to be divided for each education costs. They have the several values; Taxpayer by 25%, Individual by 40% and Employer 35%.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
indicates seven topics which are the reasons that impact on decision of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to study while the pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
presents the three item that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
the rate of education costs for each course in terms of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Overall
, there are the comparison of two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charts
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the results of a survey of reasons about education necessities and the costs of contents for each education.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the bar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
consequences for studying requirements in a survey. Interest in subject has the highest ratio at 40%, while to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
the lowest ratio at 9%. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
prospects of promotion and Enjoy learning/studying have the same percentages by 20%.

According to the pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
, there are three
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "patterns"?
pattern
which ought to
be divided
for each education costs. They have the several values; Taxpayer by 25%, Individual by 40% and Employer 35%.
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IELTS academic Adult Education Reasons and Their Costs

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
152 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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