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Adjucations for dangerous driving related offences

Adjucations for dangerous driving related offences dqX86
The line graph illustrates the rate of conviction for riskful driving related offences in 2006~2007 in Australia, in terms of different age groups. Overall, four dangerous driving related offences all peak among the age of 20~24. The mostly committed offence among all of them is the excession of the legal alcohol limitation, adjudication rate rising from 400 to 900 then follows a steady decrease as the age of 15~19 incresed to 20~24, then increasing more to the age of 45~49, the committion
The line graph illustrates the rate of conviction for
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riskful
driving related
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
in 2006~2007 in Australia, in terms of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups.

Overall
, four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
driving related
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
all peak among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 20~24. The
mostly
committed
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
among all of them is the
Possible spelling mistake found.
excession
of the legal alcohol limitation, adjudication rate rising from 400 to 900 then follows a steady decrease as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 15~19
Possible spelling mistake found.
incresed
to 20~24, then increasing more to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 45~49, the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
committion

IELTS academic Adjucations for dangerous driving related offences

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
81 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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