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25-years study on distance travelled per person by bicycles in a year

25-years study on distance travelled per person by bicycles in a year dpYlX
The table gives information of a quarter-century study on the bicycles used in Britain by age and gender. There is a spike in average numbers of distance in people of pre-teen to young adult. Additionally, trend of biking distance has been gradually decrease along the period of study. Over 25 years, the furthest traveller are male who age 11 to 17. Approximately, in first year of survey, one of this group of people biked for 226 miles. The length of travel has significantly decreased as year goes by. Correspondingly, trend of average miles travelled of all cyclist also sluggish fall. There is only one group which miles travelled was oppose the overall data is 18-59 male. Start with 71 miles in the first year and end up with 80 miles at last, the length of their trip is increase slightly. To sum up, total numbers of traveled distance is fewer and fewer as time goes by.
The table gives information of a quarter-century study on the bicycles
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in Britain by age and gender. There is a spike in average numbers of distance in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-teen
to young adult.
Additionally
, trend of biking distance has been
gradually
Consider using a past participle here: "decreased".
decrease
along the period of study.

Over 25 years, the furthest
Possible spelling mistake found.
traveller
are male who age 11 to 17. Approximately, in
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of survey, one of this group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
biked for
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
226 miles
. The length of travel has
significantly
decreased as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
goes by.
Correspondingly
, trend of average miles travelled of all cyclist
also
sluggish fall. There is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one group which miles travelled was
Consider using a past participle here: "opposed".
oppose
the
overall
data is 18-59 male.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Start
with
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
71 miles
in the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
80 miles
at last, the length of their trip is increase
slightly
.

To sum up, total numbers of traveled distance is fewer and fewer as time goes by.
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IELTS academic 25-years study on distance travelled per person by bicycles in a year

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
156 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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