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Describe an event when someone you believed betrayed you. v.1

Describe an event when someone you believed betrayed you. v. 1
Describe an event when someone you believed betrayed you. You should say: when it was who was the person what happened and explain how you felt about it. [You will have to talk about the topic for one to two minutes. You have one minute to think about what you are going to say. You can make some notes to help you if you wish. ] Model Answer 1: Feeling betrayed is certainly not a great feeling and if this betrayal comes from someone you trust, it is even worse. But this is life, and bad things happen to us whether we like it or not as the scars of treachery are still fresh in my mind. I would like to thank you for this topic and I will share my experience when someone I trusted stabbed me in the back. It was about five years ago when I felt betrayed by none other than my old time friend Andrew, whom I thought I knew for more than 15 years since my childhood. I can still vividly remember the day when he asked for our motorcycle (my family owned a motorcycle back then) as he “supposedly” needed it to run for some “errands”, ensuring me that he would be back in 10 minutes. Having complete faith in him, I gave the motorcycle to my friend, who lived only a 10- minute walk away from me, without notifying my parents. I waited for 10 minutes, by my friend was yet to come. I waited for another 20 minutes, but still no sign of my friend. My father started to ask me about the motorcycle, but I, still having faith on my friend, told them that my “friend” would be back in 30 minutes. When there was no sign of my friend even after 30 minutes had passed, I became worried and a bit annoyed at the same time. However, my “friend” did arrive after six straight hours, but he arrived with a broken motorcycle that required a lot of works to get fixed. When confronted, my friend said that he wasn’t at any fault, and that the accident had taken place because of another person’s fault. However, later on, I found out that he had taken the motorcycle far beyond the distance he was supposed to travel with another guy. I also found out that it was because of his fault that the accident had taken place as he was riding motorbike real fast. In other words, he lied to me the whole time. Not sure why he lied to me, but I felt really bad and sad not because of the broken motorcycle, but because I felt that I was duped by a person whom I have always tried to help. Having seen the “deceit” in him, I kept wondering myself about how many times he might have lied to me in the past, or how many times he may have taken advantage of me by lying to me! What was even worse that I chose to lie to my parents because I wanted to save a “so-called” friend who turned out to be a plain “lair” later on! Needless to say, after that terrible incident, I promised to myself that I would never let myself in a position again where I would feel “betrayed” and “deserted”. Model Answer 2: Deception and betrayal are more widespread today than in the past. It is a shame that it has become more common and somewhat of a daily occurrence and used to be considered an unmentionable sin in the past. Unfortunately, I have got cheated a number of times by others but for the sake of my cue card, today I will share the worst incident when I got cheated by a close friend of mine whom I believed. That was shocking and unexpected for me and the bitter feeling still linger. In 2016 when I was doing my post-graduation, and in the last semester, it was mandatory for us to submit a software project for 200 marks. At that time, almost everyone from my class was assisting companies of their choices to make a project for the final submission and others were buying it from various companies, though this was not legit. Although an internship was not mandatory, still students were ready to do anything for their final submission. Neither I was financially capable to purchase a software project nor was I able to do an internship with the companies. Finally, I decided to do it on my own and with the help of the internet. And I finally did that. I painstakingly finished the project and spent many sleepless nights to complete it. I had a friend in my class, who was in the same situation as mine and she was struggling with it. Just for humanity's sake, I would not express her real name. Let's assume that her name was Raima. She belonged to a poor family and didn’t even have her own laptop. I decided to help her by submitting my individual project as a group project. For this purpose, I gave her all my work details to revise it before the final submission date. Regrettably, that was my biggest mistake in my life, as she cheated me on that and submitted my project as her own individual project a week prior to the submission date. That was unexpected and was an act against morality. I was deceived so badly that I lost faith in helping others. I was trying to help her and she stabbed me from back as a reward! I was so crestfallen and dismayed that I felt helpless and depressed for a couple of days.   But luckily I had the blueprints of that project in my email and I was able to prove to my professors that I actually prepared that project. That was tough for me and took a great deal of effort but I was happy to find that deception did not win over morality and humanity. [Written by - Sharuti Sharma]
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Describe
an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
when someone you believed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
betrayed
you. You should say: when it was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
was the person what happened and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
how you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
felt
about it. [You will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
talk about the topic for one to two minutes. You have one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minute
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about what you are going to say. You can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
notes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
you if you wish.
Loose punctuation mark.
]


Model Answer 1: Feeling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
betrayed
is
certainly
not a great feeling and if this betrayal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from someone you trust, it is even worse.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this is life, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things happen to us whether we like it or not as the scars of treachery are
still
fresh in my mind. I would like to thank you for this topic and I will share my experience when someone I trusted stabbed me in the back.

It was about five years ago when I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
felt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
betrayed
by none
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other
than my
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
Andrew, whom I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
I knew for more than 15 years since my childhood. I can
still
vividly
remember the day when he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
asked for
our motorcycle (my family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
a motorcycle
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back
then) as he “
supposedly
” needed it to run for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
“errands”, ensuring me that he would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
back
in 10 minutes. Having complete faith in him, I gave the motorcycle to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a 10-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minute
walk away from me, without notifying my parents.

I waited for 10 minutes, by my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
was
yet
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
. I waited for another 20 minutes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
. My father
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to ask me about the motorcycle,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I,
still
having faith on my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
them that my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“friend”
would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
back
in 30 minutes. When there was no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
even after 30 minutes had passed, I became worried and a bit annoyed at the same
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time
.
However
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“friend”
did arrive after six straight hours,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he arrived with a broken motorcycle that required
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
works to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
. When confronted, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
said that he wasn’t at any fault, and that the accident had taken place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of another person’s fault.
However
, later on, I found out that he had taken the motorcycle far beyond the distance he
was supposed
to travel with another guy. I
also
found out that it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of his fault that the accident had taken place as he was riding motorbike real
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, he lied to me the whole time.

Not sure why he lied to me,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
felt
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
and sad not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the broken motorcycle,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
felt
that I
was duped
by a person whom I have always tried to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
. Having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
the “deceit” in him, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
wondering myself about how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
he might have lied to me in the past, or how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
he may have taken advantage of me by lying to me! What was even worse that I chose to lie to my parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I wanted to save a “
so
-called”
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
turned out to be a plain “lair” later on!
Needless to say
, after that terrible incident, I promised to myself that I would never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
myself in a position again where I would feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“betrayed”
and “deserted”.

Model Answer 2: Deception and betrayal are more widespread
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
than in the past. It is a shame that it has become more common and somewhat of a daily occurrence and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
be considered
an unmentionable sin in the past. Unfortunately, I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
cheated a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
by others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for the sake of my cue card,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
I will share the worst incident when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
cheated by a close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
of mine whom I believed. That was shocking and unexpected for me and the bitter feeling
still
linger. In 2016 when I was doing my post-graduation, and in the last semester, it was mandatory for us to submit a software
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
for 200 marks. At that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, almost everyone from my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
was assisting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
of their choices to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
for the final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
submission
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
were buying it from various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, though this was not legit. Although an internship was not mandatory,
still
students were ready to do anything for their final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
submission
. Neither I was
financially
capable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
a software
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
nor was I able to do an internship with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
Finally
, I decided to do it on my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of the internet. And I
finally
did that. I
painstakingly
finished the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
and spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sleepless nights to complete it. I had a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
was in the same situation as
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
mine and
she was struggling with it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
for humanity's sake, I would not express her real name.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's assume that her name was
Possible spelling mistake found.
Raima
. She belonged to a poor family and didn’t even have her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
laptop. I decided to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
her by submitting my individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
as a group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
. For this purpose, I gave her all my work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
to revise it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
submission
date.
Regrettably
, that was my biggest mistake in my life, as she cheated me on that and submitted my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
as her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
a week prior to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
submission
date. That
was unexpected
and was an act against morality. I
was deceived
so
badly
that I lost faith in helping others. I was trying to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
her and
she stabbed me from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
back
as a reward!
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
was
so
crestfallen and dismayed that I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
felt
helpless and depressed for a couple of days.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
luckily I had the blueprints of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
in my
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
email and
I was able to prove to my professors that I
actually
prepared that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
. That was tough for me and took a great deal of effort
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I was happy to find that deception did not win over morality and humanity. [Written by
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sharuti
Sharma]
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
58Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes
Learn a new language and get a new soul.
Czech Proverb

IELTS speaking Describe an event when someone you believed betrayed you. v. 1

Speaking
  American English
6 paragraphs
1010 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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