Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Describe a time when you went to an event and arrived early. v.1

Describe a time when you went to an event and arrived early. v. 1
Describe a time when you went to an event and arrived early. You should say: what the event was where it was why you arrived early and say how you felt about arriving early. [You will have to talk about the topic for one to two minutes. You have one minute to think about what you are going to say. You can make some notes to help you if you wish. ]   Model Answer: Some members of my family tell me that I was born late. No, seriously!   I mean, my birth was delayed because of some health complication of my dear mother.   I guess that’s probably the reason, I arrive late on most occasions despite my best efforts and intention. But, today, I would like to talk about a time when I actually managed to arrive early by overcoming all odds and challenges. To tell the story, I would never forget about the day when my dear elder brother was celebrating his 12th wedding anniversary at his home, about a hundred kilometres away from my hometown, because it was on this occasion that I actually managed to arrive at an event early – a lot early. By the way, even though, my brother is considerably older than me, we always have enjoyed a very special and friendly relationship between us. So, he had threatened me earlier that if I arrived at his 12th wedding anniversary late again, he would have simply packed me in a bag and thrown me into a gravity-defying spacecraft so that I could finally gain some “speed” in my life. Of course, it was a joke from my elder brother, but I could probably feel his frustration also a bit because on all the previous occasions, whether he was celebrating his birthdays or wedding anniversaries, I had always usually been the last person to arrive. I am not too sure that an elder brother would actually appreciate such a callous behaviour from a younger brother like me, whom he (the elder brother) loves so much. So, around this time, I took it upon myself as a challenge to arrive early just for the sake of making my elder brother happy. Anyway, after arriving early, I felt like I was finally coming of age and becoming a responsible person to respect the wishes of my loved ones. I also started to imagine how my elder brother would actually react after seeing me arriving so early. All in all, it was a feeling, worth a million dollars.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Describe
a time when you went to an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
and arrived
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
. You should say: what the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
was where it was why you arrived
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
and say how you felt about arriving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
. [You will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
talk about the topic for one to two minutes. You have one minute to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about what you are going to say. You can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
notes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you if you wish.
Loose punctuation mark.
]
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Model Answer:

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
members of my family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
me that I
was born
late. No,
seriously
!
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
I mean
, my birth
was delayed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
health complication of my dear mother.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
I guess
that’s
probably
the reason, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arrive
late on most occasions despite my best efforts and intention.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, I would like to talk about a time when I
actually
managed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arrive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
by overcoming all odds and challenges.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
the story, I would never forget about the day when my dear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brother
was celebrating his 12th wedding anniversary at his home, about a hundred
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
away from my hometown,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it was on this occasion that I
actually
managed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arrive
at an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
a lot early.

By the way,
even though
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brother
is
considerably
older than me, we always have enjoyed a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
special and friendly relationship between us.
So
, he had threatened me earlier that if I arrived at his 12th wedding anniversary late again, he would have
simply
packed me in a bag and thrown me into a gravity-defying spacecraft
so
that I could
finally
gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
“speed” in my life.
Of course
, it was a joke from my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brother
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I could
probably
feel his frustration
also
a bit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
on all the previous occasions, whether he was celebrating his birthdays or wedding anniversaries, I had always
usually
been the last person to arrive.

I am not
Did you mean "to sure"?
too sure
that an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brother
would
actually
appreciate such a callous
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
from a younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brother
like me, whom he (the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brother)
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
so
much.
So
, around this time, I took it upon myself as a challenge to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arrive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for the sake of making my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brother
happy.

Anyway
, after arriving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
, I felt like I was
finally
coming of age and becoming a responsible person to respect the wishes of my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones. I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to imagine how my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brother
would
actually
react after seeing me arriving
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
. All in all, it was a feeling, worth a million dollars.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS speaking Describe a time when you went to an event and arrived early. v. 1

Speaking
  American English
6 paragraphs
423 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts