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Describe a historical event that you find interesting. v.1

Describe a historical event that you find interesting. v. 1
Describe a historical event that you find interesting. You should say: when the event took place what historic connection it has how the event has impacted history and explain why you find this event interesting. Follow-up Questions: - What things do people learn during history lessons? - Do you prefer to read about international or local history? - Why do you think some people find history a boring and difficult subject?   Model Answer 1: The world has witnessed many historical events from the beginning of its existence. While all of these events have impacted our world in one way or another, there are very few events as important as “The French Revolution” that swept the world with all sorts of dramatic changes. Now, to understand the French revolution, that took place between 1789 and 1799, one has to have some ideas about the situation that was prevailing in France between 1789 and 1799, as well as preceding that era. In fact, the common French people were outraged with the fact their king Louis XVI and his predecessor left the country completely bankrupted by getting involved in the American revolutions during the mid 18th century, as well as by extravagant and unnecessary spending by their administration. On top of that, two decades of poor harvests prior, drought, cattle disease and skyrocketing bread prices prior to that had kindled unrest among peasants and the urban poor among the French people. Many expressed their desperation and resentment toward a regime that imposed heavy taxes – yet failed to provide any relief – by rioting, looting and striking. And, it was in this context that the French revolution had taken place. Anyway, the event has tremendously impacted the world history because it was after this revolution the growing exodus of nobles from the country took place, ultimately leading to the abolition of feudalism on August 4, 1789. Anyway, this event is a very important and interesting one because it is after this revolution that the charter of declaration of the Rights of Man and the Citizen was adopted by all the progressive forces around the world in light of democratic principles, grounded in the philosophical and political ideas of Enlightenment thinkers like Jean-Jacques Rousseau. Besides, this event essentially and practically plucked out the oppressive monarchy system in whole Europe.   Besides, it had also helped people enjoy better life in terms getting better jobs and better education. The French revolution helped the entire world to move forward by leaving all kinds of old ideas behind.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Describe
a historical
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event
that you find interesting. You should say: when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
took
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place
what historic connection it has how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
has impacted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why you find this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
interesting. Follow-up Questions:
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
What things do
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people
learn during
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history
lessons?

Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
Do you prefer to read about international or local history?

Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
Why do you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
a boring and difficult subject?
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Model Answer 1:

The
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world
has witnessed
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many
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
from the beginning of its existence. While all of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
have impacted our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
in one way or another, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few
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events
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as “The French
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Revolution”
that swept the
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world
with all sorts of dramatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.

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Now
, to understand the French
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revolution
, that took
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place
between 1789 and 1799, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
about the situation that was prevailing in France between 1789 and 1799, as
well
as preceding that era. In fact, the common French
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were outraged
with the fact their king Louis XVI and his predecessor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
the country completely bankrupted by getting involved in the American
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revolutions
during the mid 18th century, as
well
as by extravagant and unnecessary spending by their administration.
On top of that
, two decades of poor harvests prior, drought, cattle disease and skyrocketing bread prices prior to that had kindled unrest among peasants and the urban poor among the French
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
expressed their desperation and resentment toward a regime that imposed heavy taxes
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
yet
failed to provide any relief
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
by rioting, looting and striking. And, it was in this context that the French
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revolution
had taken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
Anyway
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
has
tremendously
impacted the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it was after this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revolution
the growing exodus of nobles from the country took
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
,
ultimately
leading to the abolition of feudalism on August 4, 1789.

Anyway
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and interesting one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is after this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revolution
that the charter of declaration of the Rights of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Man
and the Citizen
was adopted
by all the progressive forces around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
in light of democratic principles, grounded in the philosophical and political
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
of Enlightenment thinkers like Jean-Jacques Rousseau.
Besides
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
essentially
and
practically
plucked out the oppressive monarchy system in whole Europe.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Two successive sentences begin with the same adverb. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
Besides
, it had
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy better life in terms getting better jobs and better education. The French
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revolution
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
forward by leaving all kinds of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
behind.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS speaking Describe a historical event that you find interesting. v. 1

Speaking
  American English
7 paragraphs
422 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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