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Describe a friend who has played an important part in your life. v.1

Describe a friend who has played an important part in your life. v. 1
Describe a friend who has played an important part in your life. You should say: who was he/she how you two met how long you two have known each other and explain what important part he/she has played in your life.   Model Answer 1: Somewhere I heard or read that walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. And, I must say that I fully agree with the statement. Indeed, friends are important because they always somehow affect us. Today, I would like to talk about one such friend who has played an important part in my life. His name was Fazle Rabbi, and he was my university friend. I met him for the first time at our university cafeteria about 7 years ago when we both were waiting on a line to pay for our coffee. He asked me if I was coming from a certain part of my county as I was talking in a different dialect, and I said that he was right in his assumption. After that casual conversation, our friendship had started, and we are continuing our friendship still to this date Anyway, both I and Fazle were in the same year of our university, but Fazle was studying a different subject. After we started our friendship, Fazle had helped me with a number of things, which included collecting class notes for me from his friends and taking me to the hospital when I was sick. Sometimes, he even offered me to use his bicycle to reach the university library on a cold evening. Even though we were just friends, we treated each other like a brother. By the way, I had a bad habit of smoking, and it was Fazle who finally convinced me to quit smoking. Fazle even took a very innovative approach to force me to follow a particular study routine, which ultimately had helped me to get a very good final grade, when leaving university. Anyway, Fazle has influenced my life in a tremendous manner, but I think that he played his most important role as a friend when he encouraged me to choose teaching as a profession instead of becoming a public health professional. In fact, it is because of my friend Fazle that I have such a fulfilling career today.   Sample Answer 2: I always consider myself to be extremely lucky to have many close friends who have raised their helping hands in times when I desperately needed. Thus I have many real friends who are not only friends in good times but also for bad times. One such friend is Ricardo who helped me greatly and his contribution to my life has placed him in an important and special position in my life. This was the time when I was a fresher in my college and I became acquainted with Ricardo. Our friendship grew deeper with time and we became very close friends. In my second year, I got involved in a local group and I was mostly interested in their theatre performance. I never knew they were indirectly involved in politics and were funded by the major political party of our city. When I got suspicious of this group’s activity I submitted my resignation and then the real dilemma started. They would not allow me to leave intentionally and started showing me how much they have already done for me. Somehow I did not care and left this group. After a few months, the group was accused of doing political vandalism and an act against the law and I got trapped. As they have not permitted me officially to resign, I was shown as an active member of this group. I was quite in trouble as my college authority took it as a serious threat towards their disciplinary rules and they started interrogating me. In fact, I had no big connections and influences to get out from this trap and my friend Ricardo came to save me from this ploy with every connections and influence he had. I knew him merely for only 2 years at that time and to my surprise, he did everything humanly possible to save me from the disgrace. In fact, because of his help and advice, I had been able to save myself from an unexpected danger and disgrace. Even the college authority would not have listened to me if he had not been there for me. Thus he has saved me from a disastrous experience I might have to face. After that, I started feeling immense gratitude towards him and consider his help as an important part of my life.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Describe
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
played
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. You should say:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
was he/she how you two met how long you two have known each other and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
he/she has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
played
in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Model Answer 1: Somewhere I heard or read that walking with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. And, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
say that I
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement.
Indeed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they always somehow affect us.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, I would like to talk about one such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
played
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in my life.

His name was
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fazle
Rabbi, and he was my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
. I met him for the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
cafeteria about 7 years ago when we both were waiting on a line to pay for our coffee.

He asked me if I was coming from a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of my county as I was talking in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
dialect, and I said that he was
right
in his assumption. After that casual conversation, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
, and we are continuing our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
still
to this date
Anyway
, both I and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fazle
were in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fazle
was studying a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
subject.

After we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fazle
had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me with a number of things, which included collecting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
notes for me from his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and taking me to the hospital when I was sick.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, he even offered me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
his bicycle to reach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
library on a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
evening.
Even though
we were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, we treated each other like a brother. By the way, I had a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habit of smoking, and it was
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fazle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
finally
convinced me to quit smoking.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fazle
even took a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
innovative approach to force me to follow a particular study routine, which
ultimately
had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
final grade, when leaving university.

Anyway
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fazle
has influenced my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
Consider replacing "in a tremendous manner" with the adverb for "tremendous"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a tremendous manner
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
played
his most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
role as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
when he encouraged me to choose
If 'choose' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to teach".
teaching
as a profession
instead
of becoming a public health professional. In fact, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fazle
that I have such a fulfilling career
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Sample Answer 2: I always consider myself to be
extremely
lucky to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have raised their helping hands in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
when I
desperately
needed.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
. One such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
is Ricardo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me
greatly
and his contribution to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has placed him in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
and special position in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. This was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
when I was a fresher in my college and I became acquainted with Ricardo. Our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
grew deeper with
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time and
we became
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. In my second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
involved in a local
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
group and
I was
mostly
interested in their
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
performance. I never knew they were
indirectly
involved in politics and
were funded
by the major political party of our city. When I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
suspicious of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group’s
activity I submitted my resignation and then the real dilemma
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
. They would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
intentionally
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
showing me how much they have already done for me. Somehow I did not care and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
. After a few months, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
was accused
of doing political vandalism and an act against the law and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
trapped. As they have not permitted me
officially
to resign, I
was shown
as an active member of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
. I was quite in trouble as my college authority took it as a serious threat towards their disciplinary
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
rules and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
interrogating me. In fact, I had no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
connections and influences to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out from this trap and my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
Ricardo came to save me from this ploy with every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "connection"?
connections
and influence he had. I knew him
merely
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2 years at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and to my surprise, he did everything
humanly
possible to save me from the disgrace. In fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and advice, I had been able to save myself from an unexpected
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
and disgrace. Even the college authority would not have listened to me if he had not been there for me.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
he has saved me from a disastrous experience I might
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face. After that, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
feeling immense gratitude towards him and consider his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
72Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS speaking Describe a friend who has played an important part in your life. v. 1

Speaking
  American English
5 paragraphs
778 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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