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Describe a children's park you have visited recently. v.1

Describe a children's park you have visited recently. v. 1
Describe a children's park you have visited recently. You should say: When you went there Who was with you What you did there and explain why you went to visit this children's park. Model Answer: Last month I visited a children’s park in our area with my 8 year's old nephew. He was getting bored at home and his mother requested me to take him outside and I took him to the nearby children’s park. It was in the evening and there were lots of other children who came there with their parents. I found that my nephew Smith was very happy to be in this park and he enjoyed the activities offered there for children. He rode on many rides and ran for a long until he got tired. I went there after a very long time and enjoyed the children’s activity as they were playing, shouting and joyfully running in the park. There were many trees and flowers in this park and I was mostly watching my nephew or the other children. At a time I found that John had already made two/ three playmates and they all came to me and asked me to take a picture. I took few photos of those angelic kids and bought them some nuts and ice-creams. When the darkness started falling around us, I asked my nephew to get back home and we started walking towards home. Both of us enjoyed our sudden visit to that children’s park though one of us one not a child at all!     Similar Cue Card Topics Your ability to talk about this Cue Card would enable you to talk about the following Cue Cards as well: Describe a public place you often go to.   Describe a place in your city where people often visit.   Describe a place where you often visit.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Describe
a children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
you have visited recently. You should say: When you went there Who was with you What you did there and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why you went to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
Did you mean "these"?
this
children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
. Model Answer:

Last month I visited a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
in our area with my 8 year's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nephew
. He was getting bored at home and his mother requested me to take him outside and I took him to the nearby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
. It was in the evening and there were lots of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who came there with their parents. I found that my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nephew
Smith was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happy to be in this
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
park and
he enjoyed the activities offered there for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. He rode on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
rides and ran for a long until he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
tired. I went there after a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
long time and enjoyed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
activity as they were playing, shouting and
joyfully
running in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
. There were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
trees and flowers in this
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
park and
I was
mostly
watching my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nephew
or the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. At a time I found that John had already made two/ three
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
playmates and
they all came to me and asked me to take a picture. I took few photos of those angelic kids and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nuts and ice-creams. When the darkness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
falling around us, I asked my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nephew
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
back
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
home and
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
walking towards home. Both of us enjoyed our sudden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
though one of us one not a child at all!
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
   
Similar Cue Card Topics Your ability to talk about this Cue Card would enable you to talk about the following Cue Cards as
well
:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Describe
a public place you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
go to.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Describe
a place in your city where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Describe
a place where you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS speaking Describe a children's park you have visited recently. v. 1

Speaking
  American English
2 paragraphs
310 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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