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Talk about an important day in your life. v.1

Talk about an important day in your life. v. 1
Talk about an important day in your life. You should say: when was it what happened in this day was it a positive or negative day for you and explain why this was an important day for you. Model Answer 1: My first day at my university is an important day for me. That was so much enchanting and inspiring for me that, it became one of my most memorable events in my life. I consider this day to be a very important day in my life because of its significance to shape my future. I got admitted in an Engineering University of my country where mostly rich people send their kids for study. I was enrolled in this university because of my academic record and being one of the merit listed students. It was 2006 and I went to my university on 12th January. I noticed that most of the students were dropped by their parents and I was very few of the students who had to take a shared bus to reach the university campus. I went to stroll around the campus as it was the orientation day and no classes were scheduled for that day. All of a sudden I found myself talking to me and I was taking some oaths myself. One of those oaths was that studying would be the top most priority for the next 5 years of my life. I was also determined that I would not get involved in kind of politics and riot groups and would solely focus to make an impressive academic record. I visited the library, labs, classrooms, auditoriums and all those massive and beautiful constructions and facilities inspired me a lot. In fact, his was the day when the realisation hit me that I have a good opportunity ahead of me and I have to devote myself to grab this opportunity as much as possible. In terms of the significant determination, I gathered that day, it was, in fact, a very positive day for me. Very few moments and events stirred me so much to take this short of self-vow and oaths to change the future.
Talk about an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
day in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. You should say: when was it what happened in this day was it a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
day for you and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why this was an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
day for you. Model Answer 1:

My
first
day at my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
day for me. That was
so
much enchanting and inspiring for me that, it became one of my most memorable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. I consider this day to be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
day in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its significance to shape my future. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
admitted in an Engineering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
of my country where
mostly
rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their kids for study.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
was enrolled
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of my academic record and being one of the merit listed students. It was 2006 and I went to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
on 12th January. I noticed that most of the students
were dropped
by their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
parents and
I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few of the students who had to take a shared bus to reach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
campus. I went to stroll around the campus as it was the orientation day and no classes
were scheduled
for that day. All of a sudden I found myself talking to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
me and
I was taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
oaths myself. One of those oaths was that studying would be the top most priority for the
next
5 years of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. I was
also
determined that I would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in kind of politics and riot groups and would
solely
focus to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an impressive academic record. I visited the library, labs, classrooms, auditoriums and all those massive and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
constructions and facilities inspired me a lot. In fact, his was the day when the
Possible spelling mistake. 'realisation' is British English.
realisation
hit me that I have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity ahead of me and I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
devote myself to grab this opportunity as much as possible. In terms of the significant determination, I gathered that day, it was, in fact, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
day for me.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Very
few moments and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
stirred me
so
much to take this short of self-vow and oaths to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the future.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS speaking Talk about an important day in your life. v. 1

Speaking
  American English
2 paragraphs
358 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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