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You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child

You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child xwK9
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to you regarding the advertisement that I saw last week on 15th feburary, i think I am fit for this job as I have experience in babysitting school. I have been working in daycare school for more that 6 years and I can handle small children in a better way. More over in connection with family i looked after my siblings. I know difficulties in handling small children in a good manner. Further more i can teach them alphabelets also and will take over all look also in other words including food also. I know which food does children like the most and i lovespending time with small children. I came from India with my uncle as he is a software engineer will last for six months, mean while I am getting bore by sitting ideal at home so that it can create job as well as my pocket money. so i really appreciate you if you posses the job. Thanking you, Yours sincerely Peter
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to you regarding the advertisement that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
last week on 15th
Possible spelling mistake found.
feburary
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
I
am fit
for this job as I have experience in babysitting school.

I have been working in daycare school for more that 6 years and I can handle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
children in a better way. More over in connection with family
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
looked after my siblings. I know difficulties in handling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
children in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
manner.

Further
more
Did you mean "I"?
i
can teach them
Possible spelling mistake found.
alphabelets
also
and will take over all look
also
in other words
including food
also
. I know which food does children like the most and i
Possible spelling mistake found.
lovespending
time with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
children.

I came from India with my uncle as he is a software engineer will last for six months,
Did you mean "meanwhile"?
mean while
I am getting bore by sitting ideal at home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it can create job
as well
as my pocket money.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
really
appreciate you if you posses the job. Thanking you, Yours
sincerely
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Peter
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IELTS letter You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
169 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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