Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

You are an international student and have borrowed a book from the local public library. You left the book on a bus and when you contacted the bus company, they could not find it. v.6

You are an international student and have borrowed a book from the local public library. You left the book on a bus and when you contacted the bus company, they could not find it. v. 6
Dear Sir or Madam, A few weeks ago, I borrowed a book on how to become an expert in business and professional communication titled, "The art of Business and Professional Communication" from your library so that I was able to improve my overall knowledge about communication in the corporate world. Anyway, I am really glad that I borrowed that excellent book from your library because it proved out to be extremely useful. In fact, I carried the book with me wherever I would travel during these last few weeks. But, I guess that I shouldn’t have done that because that’s probably the reason I lost it. In fact, I think that I left the book by mistake on a bus. Of course, I contacted the bus company later on but they said that they didn’t find any book. So, could you please tell me what I should do now?   By the way, I am an international student, and I do not have that much money with me right now. But, still, I am willing to pay for a new copy of that book if that’s what it takes to remedy the situation. Yours faithfully, Rashid Khan
Dear Sir or Madam,

A few weeks ago, I borrowed a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
on how to become an expert in business and professional communication titled,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
The art of Business and Professional Communication
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
from your library
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I was able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
my
overall
knowledge about communication in the corporate world.

Anyway, I am
really
glad that I borrowed that excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
from your library
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it proved out to be
extremely
useful. In fact, I carried the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
with me wherever I would travel during these last few weeks.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I guess that I shouldn’t have done that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that’s
probably
the reason I lost it.

In fact, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
by mistake on a bus.
Of course
, I contacted the bus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
later on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they said that they didn’t find any book.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, could you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
me what I should do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
?
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
By the way, I am an international student, and I do not have that much money with me right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
still
, I am willing to pay for a new copy of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
if that’s what it takes to remedy the situation.

Yours
faithfully
,

Rashid Khan
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS letter You are an international student and have borrowed a book from the local public library. You left the book on a bus and when you contacted the bus company, they could not find it. v. 6

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
196 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts