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unprofessional duty staff in reputed hospital

unprofessional duty staff in reputed hospital BENj
Dear Sir/Madam, I write this letter with great distaste and annoyance at the way your renowned hospital has treated our family. We were at your emergency department last night due to a serious health issue with my young daughter, who was having severe cramps and unable to find relief with sos medications also. We arrived at the emergency ward with the hope of immediate attention, but were made to wait for four long hours (11pm to 3am on 23rd August) without even a bed to rest the child in pain. I understand it was a time of the day which was highly understaffed and there were other patients too, but the least we could expected was a hot water bag to relieve the child till the main doctor came in, or at the least a word of reassurance from the staff present. Not only were they oblivious to our presence, they were downright rude when we questioned the delay. I wanted to bring this to your immediate notice and strict action from your end, and even a written apology for the same. The date and time is mentioned for you to know the staff on duty and for your to further probe on the inefficiency and indifference demonstrated by your otherwise well reputed organisation. I would appreciate swift action from your end. Yours faithfully, Johnson John 98291 23411
Dear Sir/Madam,

I write this letter with great distaste and annoyance at the way your renowned hospital has treated our family. We were at your emergency department last night due to a serious health issue with my young daughter, who was having severe cramps and unable to find relief with
sos
medications
also
. We arrived at the emergency ward with the hope of immediate attention,
but
were made
to wait for four long hours (11pm to 3am on 23rd August) without even a bed to rest the child in pain.

I understand it was a time of the day which was
highly
understaffed and there were other patients too,
but
the least we could
expected
was a hot water bag to relieve the child till the main doctor came in, or at the least a word of reassurance from the staff present. Not
only
were they oblivious to our presence, they were downright rude when we questioned the delay.

I wanted to bring this to your immediate notice and strict action from your
end
, and even a written apology for the same. The date and time
is mentioned
for you to know the staff on duty and for your to
further
probe on the inefficiency and indifference demonstrated by your
otherwise
well reputed
organisation
. I would appreciate swift action from your
end
.

Yours
faithfully
,

Johnson John

98291 23411
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IELTS letter unprofessional duty staff in reputed hospital

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
227 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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