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The following appeared in a health newsletter."A ten-year nationwide study of the effectiveness of wearing a helmet while bicycling indicates that ten years ago, approximately 35 percent of all bicyclists reported wearing helmets, whereas today that numbe

The following appeared in a health newsletter. " A ten-year nationwide study of the effectiveness of wearing a helmet while bicycling indicates that ten years ago, approximately 35 percent of all bicyclists reported wearing helmets, whereas today that numbe BJW76
In this letter, the author tells us a study shows there are doubled number of bicycle related accidents today than ten years ago, which focus that the people who wear helmet increased from 35 to 80 percent during the ten years. So the author recommended that the government should educate the riders and not encourage them to wear helmets. But there are some loopholes in this letter and the reasoning for the recommendation is not well supported. We should evalutate them carefully. To begin with, the study concentrated merely on the helmets wore by the riders without other significant issues. The author indicates during the ten years, the bicycle-related accidents are increasing as twice as it was. This obvious change may be not casued by the single reason that people feeling safe when thet are wearing helmets. There is a high possbility that the vehicles number is increasing in ten years, and the traffic accidents between the bikes and cars are often serious which means the helmets could not protect the riders well. So the author should find out what is the main cause of bicycle-related accidents. What's more, the road conditon is another impotant factors which could casuse the accidents as with more cars on the roads, the roads are more cramped than before, so the riders have to share the road with cars and even trucks, which more serious. In addition, the development of bicylcles should also be taken into considerations. Firstly, the number of bicycle may increase at the same time as the cars, the possbility of bicycle-related accidents will increase with high possiblity. Secondly, the bicycle technology may also evovle in the ten years. Maybe people ride little bicycle with a low speed, due to the development of bikes especcially bicylce sports, there may be more and more bicycle fans who feel like riding mountain bikes or the road bikes which are much more faster than before. This could also increase the possiblity of the accidents. While the study does not tell us this essential change, it would be arbitrary to make the conclusion. Finally, the author's recommendation is not well supported by the evidence. As we are discussing before, the author does not show convincing relevance to support his ideas that educate the riders and reduce the encouragements of wearing helmets. Even it is right to educate the people to ride bikes safely, we can not conclude the riders who lack of traffic rules will charge the doubled number of bicycle-related accidents. In that no evidence support this conclusion, all the people in the transportation should be cultivated carefully. Likewise, with no convincing evidence show the unneccety of wearing the helmets, it is too hasty to let the riders not wear them by the government. In conclusion, the author's recommendation is not well-supported by the evidence in that the reasons show no essential relavance to the conclsuion.
In this letter, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
us a study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
there
are doubled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
Use "(today)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
today
than ten years ago, which focus that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helmet
increased from 35 to 80 percent during the ten years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
recommended that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should educate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
riders
and not encourage them to wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helmets
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
loopholes in this letter and the reasoning for the recommendation is not
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well supported
. We should
Possible spelling mistake found.
evalutate
them
carefully
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the study concentrated
merely
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helmets
wore by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
riders
without other significant issues. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
indicates during the ten years, the bicycle-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
are increasing as twice as it was. This obvious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
may be not
Possible spelling mistake found.
casued
by the single reason that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feeling safe when
Possible spelling mistake found.
thet are
wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helmets
. There is a high
Possible spelling mistake found.
possbility
that the vehicles
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
is increasing in ten years, and the traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bikes
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
serious which means the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helmets
could not protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
riders
well.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
should find out what is the main cause of bicycle-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
. What's more, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
Possible spelling mistake found.
conditon
is another
Possible spelling mistake found.
impotant
factors which could
Possible spelling mistake found.
casuse
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
as with more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
are more cramped than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
riders
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
share the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and even trucks, which more serious.

In addition
, the development of
Possible spelling mistake found.
bicylcles
should
also
be taken
into considerations.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
may increase at the same time as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
possbility
of bicycle-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
will increase with high
Possible spelling mistake found.
possiblity
.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
technology may
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
evovle
in the ten years. Maybe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ride
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
with a low speed, due to the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bikes
Possible spelling mistake found.
especcially
Possible spelling mistake found.
bicylce
sports, there may be more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
fans who feel like riding mountain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bikes
or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bikes
which are much
Use only "faster" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more faster
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. This could
also
increase the
Possible spelling mistake found.
possiblity
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
. While the study does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
us this essential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, it would be arbitrary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the conclusion.

Finally
, the author's recommendation is not
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well supported
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
. As we are discussing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
convincing relevance to support his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
that educate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
riders
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the encouragements of wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helmets
. Even it is right to educate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to ride
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bikes
safely
, we can not conclude the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
riders
who lack of traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
will charge the doubled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of bicycle-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
. In that no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
support this conclusion, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the transportation should
be cultivated
carefully
.

Likewise
, with no convincing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
unneccety
of wearing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helmets
, it is too hasty to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
riders
not wear them by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

In conclusion
, the author's recommendation is not well-supported by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
in that the reasons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
no essential
Possible spelling mistake found.
relavance
to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
conclsuion
.
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IELTS letter The following appeared in a health newsletter. " A ten-year nationwide study of the effectiveness of wearing a helmet while bicycling indicates that ten years ago, approximately 35 percent of all bicyclists reported wearing helmets, whereas today that numbe

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
482 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • The following appeared in a health newsletter."A ten-year nationwide study of the effectiveness of wearing a helmet while bicycling indicates that ten years ago, approximately 35 percent of all bicyclists reported wearing helmets, whereas today that numbe