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Some information about your town is incorrect

Some information about your town is incorrect Nljjg
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to let you know that I came across an article on my hometown in your magazine published on 1st November 2021. It was mentioned that the famous musical dancing fountain can be visited in Atta, a town in the northern part of India, however, this information is misleading and incorrect. The fact is that due to improper maintenance, the fountain in my town closed almost 10 years ago. A similar functional fountain is actually located around 200 miles away on the west in Jhansi. Many tourists rely on the information provided in your articles and it is crucial they do not get confused. Travellers who will plan a trip, after reading your article, to visit the fountain will arrive to realise that the fountain is closed and will be disheartened and this will lead to mistrust on your magazine and reduction in the buyers. Hence, could I request you to publish a correction? Please indicate that the fountain is no longer operational in Atta and you may also mention the alternative locations where the visitor can view the fountain. It will be nice to have the opening and closing hours mentioned so the visitor can plan accordingly. Thank you for your consideration. Yours faithfully, Gaurav
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
you know that I came across an article on my hometown in your magazine published on 1st November 2021. It
was mentioned
that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
musical dancing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fountain
can
be visited
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Atta
, a town in the northern part of India,
however
, this information is misleading and incorrect.

The fact is that due to improper maintenance, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fountain
in my town closed almost 10 years ago. A similar functional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fountain
is actually located around
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
200 miles
away on the west in Jhansi.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
tourists rely on the information provided in your articles and it is crucial they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
confused.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Travellers
who will plan a trip, after reading your article, to visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fountain
will arrive to
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fountain
is closed
and will
be disheartened
and this will lead to mistrust on your magazine and reduction in the buyers.

Hence
, could I request you to publish a correction?
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
indicate that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fountain
is no longer operational in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Atta
and you may
also
mention the alternative locations where the visitor can view the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fountain
. It will be nice to have the opening and closing hours mentioned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the visitor can plan
accordingly
.

Thank you for your consideration.

Yours
faithfully
,

Gaurav
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IELTS letter Some information about your town is incorrect

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
211 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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