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letter for incorrect information

letter for incorrect information RyX1G
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to inform you about incorrect documentation that you mention in your article on 1st July. First of all, I should thank you for writing good advertisement in my home town. Apparently as per your knowledge about "Paru-Paru" festival it was not cancelled. The program will be held on the same date 26th July at 3: 00 pm. During the event some guideline will be implement. First of all, participant's will wear there mask at all times. Second avoid close contact with each other. Lastly, before entering on the venue all contenders will check temperature. This is much awaited show in our home town to avoid any misconception with our citizens and as well as the contestant. As a clarification, I would like to request to please correct the blunder in your article. Thank you for time and looking forward to hearing from you. Respectfully, Donna Lou S. Arceno
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to inform you about incorrect documentation that you mention in your article on 1st July.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I should thank you for writing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
advertisement in my home town.
Apparently
as per your knowledge about
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Possible spelling mistake found.
Paru-Paru
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
festival it was not cancelled. The program will
be held
on the same date 26th July at 3: 00 pm. During the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
guideline will be
Consider using a past participle here: "implemented".
implement
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, participant's will wear there mask at all times. Second avoid close contact with each other.
Lastly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
entering on the venue all contenders will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
temperature. This is much awaited
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
in our home town to avoid any misconception with our citizens and
as well
as the contestant.

As a clarification, I would like to request to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
correct the blunder in your article. Thank you for time and looking forward to hearing from you.

Respectfully
, Donna Lou S.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Arceno
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IELTS letter letter for incorrect information

Letter
  American English
5 paragraphs
154 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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