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Zoos are sometimes seen as necessary but not poor alternatives to a natural environment. Discuss some of the arguments for and against keeping animals in zoos.

Zoos are sometimes seen as necessary but not poor alternatives to a natural environment. Discuss some of the arguments for and against keeping animals in zoos. 9kXw
There are cons and pros about maintaining the Zoo. Zoos are one of the best place for education, There are many speices in the zoo. The animal is not required to find out their food. Normally, they are feeding by the people who working in the zoo which means they don’t have ability of hunting their food by themselves. Therefore, there is no natural environment in the zoo. It is only maintain by humans. Regarding the positive sides, maintaining the zoo can be protect the animal from extinction. For example the climate changes are effect on natural environment therefore many animals have to died in the wild. The zoo can be prevent these circumstances. Furthermore, there are already many artificial system in natural environment and we proved these system was helpful. there is no problems to use this artificial systems for operating the zoo. On the other hand, others think about operating the zoo is very harsh for animals. Many of them moved to the zoos by the force, and then they have to spend whole life in the zoos. It is such a jail. Animals have right to live freely in the wild. In my opinions, humans doesn’t know that animals like to live in the zoo thus, we should think about these topic in moral way. It could be helpful for prevent the extinction. we might consider to bring animal which is attacked or disable to the zoo.
There are cons and pros about maintaining the Zoo. Zoos are one of the best place for education, There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
speices
in the zoo. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
is not required to find out their food.
Normally
, they are feeding by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who working in the zoo which means they don’t have ability of hunting their food by themselves.
Therefore
, there is no natural environment in the zoo. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
maintain by humans.

Regarding the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides, maintaining the zoo can be
Consider using the past participle "protected"?
protect
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
from extinction.
For example
the climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
are effect on natural environment
therefore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
in the wild. The zoo can be
Consider using the past participle "prevented"?
prevent
these circumstances.
Furthermore
, there are already
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
artificial system in natural
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
environment and
we proved
Did you mean "this system" or "these systems"?
these system
was helpful.
Did you mean "there are no problems"?
there is no problems
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this artificial systems for operating the zoo.

On the other hand
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about operating the zoo is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harsh for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to the zoos by the force, and then they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend whole life in the zoos. It is such a jail.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animals
have right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
freely
in the wild.

In my opinions, humans doesn’t know that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the zoo
thus
, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about
Did you mean "this topic" or "these topics"?
these topic
in moral way. It could be helpful for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the extinction.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
might
The verb 'consider' is used with the gerund form: "consider bringing".
consider to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
which
is attacked
or disable to the zoo.
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IELTS essay Zoos are sometimes seen as necessary but not poor alternatives to a natural environment. Discuss some of the arguments for and against keeping animals in zoos.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
240 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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