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Write an essay discussing the advantages and disadvantages of children spending too much time on using computer

Write an essay discussing the advantages and disadvantages of children spending too much time on using computer doN7p
In today's world, technologies have become an integral part of everyone's life and children usually spend a significant amount of hours on their computers. Firstly, this essay will discuss health problems caused by gadgets as the main disadvantage of using them and, secondly, it will analyse such benefits as the availability of information and communication. The advocates of new technologies claim that when using their laptops youngsters can easily access all needed for studying data and, moreover, they can communicate with other people via messengers that are the main benefit. This is because, not only has a rapid development in this sphere allowed those who use a browser to search for any information but also to speak with their friends, relatives and even meet new people. As a result, the younger population might find a lot of useful and relevant material that is likely to help them in their educational process and, furthermore, they could ask for the help of teachers online. For instance, from the year 2018, some colleges in Ukraine has started to provide their pupils with prepared for work computers which they can keep till the end of a school year in order to simplify their studies. Admittedly, the majority of gadgets have a harmful impact on the condition of human's well-being and can provoke various types of diseases such as myopia and scoliosis that is the major drawback. The former, which signifies problems with vision, might be caused by radiation and a dreadful light emitted by a laptop while the latter that, in turn, refers to the issues with posture and the condition of a back is likely to be the result of an incorrect pose of sitting. Therefore, youngsters sacrifice their health when spending a big amount of time in front of their computers. For example, one research has shown that after the emergence of technologies the vision has started to deteriorate much faster than it used to. To conclude, laptops have both merits and demerits and it is quite complicated to estimate which outweigh. This is because from the one hand gadgets influence children's health while from the other hand they give a lot of opportunities in the regard to the access to a needed material for school.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world, technologies have become an integral part of everyone's life and children
usually
spend a significant amount of hours on their computers.
Firstly
, this essay will discuss health problems caused by gadgets as the main disadvantage of using them and,
secondly
, it will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
such benefits as the availability of information and communication.

The advocates of new technologies claim that when using their laptops youngsters can
easily
access all needed for studying data and,
moreover
, they can communicate with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
via messengers that are the main benefit. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
has a rapid development in this sphere
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a browser to search for any information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to speak with their friends, relatives and even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
As a result
, the younger population might find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
useful and relevant material
that is
likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in their educational process and,
furthermore
, they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of teachers online.
For instance
, from the year 2018,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
colleges in Ukraine has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to provide their pupils with prepared for work computers which they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
till the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of a school year in order to simplify their studies.

Admittedly
, the majority of gadgets have a harmful impact on the condition of human's well-being and can provoke various types of diseases such as myopia and scoliosis
that is
the major drawback. The former, which signifies problems with vision, might
be caused
by radiation and a dreadful light emitted by a laptop while the latter that, in turn, refers to the issues with posture and the condition of a back is likely to be the result of an incorrect pose of sitting.
Therefore
, youngsters sacrifice their health when spending a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
amount of time in front of their computers.
For example
, one research has shown that after the emergence of technologies the vision has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to deteriorate much faster than it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to.

To conclude
, laptops have both merits and demerits and it is quite complicated to estimate which outweigh. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
from the one hand gadgets influence children's health while from the other hand they give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
opportunities in the regard to the access to a needed material for school.
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IELTS essay Write an essay discussing the advantages and disadvantages of children spending too much time on using computer

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
374 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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