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Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is waste of resources. q2eD
Wildlife has been and ought to be the highest priority whatever time is. Even though others hold the opposite opinion to this, asserting that these animals had better not be secured so as not to squander resources, I completely disagree with this. Symbolizing a core of food, sufficient medicine and clothes, with the ecosystem maintenance are the two cogent reasons for this. There will be a discussion of these in the upcoming paragraphs accordingly. Fauna is the mainstay of human lives. ​One justification for this is​ a special healthcare provision, which enables people to survive; testing drugs on animals, as well as obtaining food from them are the presents taken for granted. ​Furthermore​, dressing the warmest clothing made out of animal skin in winter to keep people safe will not be substituted by any artificial fibres​, for instance, down the road. ​A further factor to justify​ preserving wild creatures ​is to​ sustain a balance in nature. ​The clearest indication of this is that​ they do play a crucial part in ​the natural cycle​. Provided that animals were not fed with valuable resources, and, eventually, became extinct, the natural world harmony would be disrupted, ​taking a heavy toll on ​human beings too. ​Thus​, the probable hazard should be omitted. In conclusion, ​livestock ​is not worth such a hostile attitude. As a great deal of basic need for living ​coupled with​ ​the natural system​ is provided, I tend to disagree with those who are to treat them as trivial in this era. I think that this, conversely, should be taken seriously by the current generation to ​undertake a new enterprise​ concerning the way creatures are defended if that seems to be misused.
Wildlife has been and ought to be the highest priority whatever time is.
Even though
others hold the opposite opinion to this, asserting that these
animals
had better not
be secured
so
as not to squander resources, I completely disagree with this. Symbolizing a core of food, sufficient medicine and clothes, with the ecosystem maintenance are the two cogent reasons for this. There will be a discussion of these in the upcoming paragraphs
accordingly
.

Fauna is the mainstay of human
lives
. ​One justification for this is​ a special healthcare provision, which enables
people
to survive; testing drugs on
animals
,
as well
as obtaining food from them are the presents taken for granted. ​
Furthermore
​, dressing the warmest clothing made out of
animal
skin in winter to
keep
people
safe will not
be substituted
by any artificial
fibres
​,
for instance
, down the road.

​A
further
factor to justify​ preserving wild creatures ​is to​ sustain a balance in nature. ​The clearest indication of this is that​ they do play a crucial part in ​the natural cycle​. Provided that
animals
were not fed with valuable resources, and,
eventually
, became extinct, the natural world harmony would
be disrupted
, ​taking a heavy toll on ​human beings too. ​
Thus
​, the probable hazard should
be omitted
.

In conclusion
, ​livestock ​is not worth such a hostile attitude. As a great deal of basic need for living ​coupled with​ ​the natural system​
is provided
, I tend to disagree with those who are to treat them as trivial in this era. I
think
that this,
conversely
, should
be taken
seriously
by the
current
generation to ​undertake a new enterprise​ concerning the way creatures
are defended
if that seems to
be misused
.
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IELTS essay Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is waste of resources.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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