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“Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or not agree.”

“Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. ” g5b0a
It has been said that reaching aims is just a matter of luck and some people believe it, while there are a great deal of case which are a proven luck is just a lift power, in my opinion i am on the site of hard work First, i do believe that being successful requires passion and hard work for example, Walt Disney he kicked out of his jop, he did not give up his dreams and his determination, he put a huge effort on his work or take no account of the time of day, now kids get a pleasure of watching his creations all over the world, given that, he is the proof of how a person to reach his or her target he had no luck, even he had many barriers to get across, of course, there are many factors to accomplish your goal, nevertheless those obstacles are just an opportunity and experiment to learn life, to prepare hard work in the future, to put it another way, it gives you a strength to became a strong person, for instance, Walt Disney had a miserable childhood, he had a struggling to earn money, in addition that he lost his dad due to the financial impossibility, those unfortunate events just gave more passion, such as, he could not read because of his illness, therefor he had to work and try any business to earn a living, finally he got a painting course which is the start point to his career as it seen, he would not have been if he had been a reach man on account of comfortable live which makes people cozy Second, luck may be just a modest to our achievements or to hide our hard work from another humans such as a student who study a lot and get a good puan on any exams,  However, there are few things that luck works on them, for instance, lottery, it is undeniable to say that winning a lottery only depends on your luck, anyway, that doesn’t mean getting lucky the key is to be successful on carrier or life In conclusion, ambition, patience, diligence and hard work is the cornerstone of getting to aims, thus, I strongly against that idea which counts on luck.
It has
been said
that reaching aims is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a matter of luck and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe it, while there are a great
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "deals"?
deal
of case which are a proven luck is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a lift power, in my opinion
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am on the site of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
work

First
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
do believe that being successful requires passion and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for example
, Walt Disney he kicked out of his
Possible spelling mistake found.
jop
, he did not give up his dreams and his determination, he put a huge effort on his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or take no account of the time of day,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a pleasure of watching his creations all over the world,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
that, he is the proof of how a person to reach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
target he had no luck, even he had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
barriers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
across,
of course
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors to accomplish your goal,
nevertheless
those obstacles are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
an opportunity and experiment to learn life, to prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the future, to put it another way, it gives you a strength
Did you mean "to become"?
to became
a strong person,
for instance
, Walt Disney had a miserable childhood, he had a struggling to earn money,
in addition
that he lost his dad due to the financial impossibility, those unfortunate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
gave more passion, such as, he could not read
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of his illness, therefor he had to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and try any business to earn a living,
finally
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a painting course which is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
point to his career as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, he would not have been if he had been a reach
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
on account of comfortable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cozy

Second, luck may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a modest to our achievements or to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from another humans such as a student who study a lot and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake found.
puan
on any exams,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
However
, there are few things that luck works on them,
for instance
, lottery, it is undeniable to say that winning a lottery
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
depends on your luck, anyway, that doesn’t mean getting lucky the key is to be successful on carrier or life

In conclusion
, ambition, patience, diligence and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is the cornerstone of getting to aims,
thus
, I
strongly
against that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
which counts on luck.
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IELTS essay “Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. ”

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
379 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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