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WHEN CHOOSING A JOB, THE SALARY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT CONSIDERATION. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

WHEN CHOOSING A JOB, THE SALARY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT CONSIDERATION. g5q21
There is a common opinion that many job seekers should consider salary as the key point when choosing a job. I don’t deny the important of income. However, from my point of view, I would add many other factors that are as considerable as salary when evaluate a position. On the one hand, there are plenty of reasons why a well-paying job is always more atractive for job seeker. At first, people work to live, which mean their earn from working is essential for their expenditures. The more they earn, the less worry about financial condition they are. Moreover, it can not be denied that high salary is always accompanied by high pressure and requirement. So that, salary level partly indicate people competence and their position at work. Getting a high salary job means you are highly appreciated for your ability. On the other hand, base on people stages of life and their objectives at work, various considerations that relate to working conditions are matter more than salary. For a graduate who is looking for their very first job, it is clear that experience is more important than salary. For married men and women who already have children, job that offer high salary is less attractive if it require them to live far from their family. Not only job seeker circumstances that are matter, working environment is also another vital element of job that should be counted in. A position that has negative influence to people health such as working in a nuclear factory is usually well-paying but not everyone would risk their life for that high income. In conclusion, people should consider their circumstances first before decide which factors are important to choose the most suitable position. Those elements could be salary, working environment, working condition, location of the office, etc.
There is a common opinion that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
seekers should consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
as the key point when choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. I don’t deny the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
of income.
However
, from my point of view, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other factors that are as considerable as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
when evaluate a position.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of reasons why a well-paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is always more
Possible spelling mistake found.
atractive
for
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job
seeker. At
first
,
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people
work to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, which mean their earn from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
is essential for their expenditures. The more they earn, the less worry about financial condition they are.
Moreover
, it can not
be denied
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is always accompanied by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
pressure and requirement.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
level partly indicate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
competence and their position at work. Getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
means you are
highly
appreciated for your ability.

On the other hand
, base on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
stages
of life and their objectives at work, various considerations that relate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
conditions are matter more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
. For a graduate who is looking for their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
first
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job
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that experience is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
. For married
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women who already have children,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is less attractive if it
Did you mean "requires"?
require
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
far from their family. Not
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only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
seeker circumstances that are matter,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
environment is
also
another vital element of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that should
be counted
in. A position that has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
health such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in a nuclear factory is
usually
well-paying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not everyone would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
for that
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high
income.

In conclusion
,
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people
should consider their circumstances
first
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
decide which factors are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to choose the most suitable position. Those elements could be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
environment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
condition, location of the office, etc.

IELTS essay WHEN CHOOSING A JOB, THE SALARY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT CONSIDERATION.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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