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What are the advantages and disadvantages of having older people living in the family home

What are the advantages and disadvantages of having older people living in the family home dopar
The older people represent one of the fundamental factors of making our homes happy. Yet, there are many people account aged people as a burden upon families particularly regarding money spending aspect. Personally, I believe that the presence of older people in our families has great advantages and many positive impacts in our life. Some people assert that older people need a special care. That by its role will affect directly the families' revenue. To put it simply, older people are very fragile and vulnerable to many diseases and that means they need hospital admissions and medications which all require lots of money. In addition, the productivity of the advanced age individuals decreases by time, so that accomplishes to the conclusion that there is no compensation for that money expended for the sake of the elders' health. Nevertheless, the older people have a cumulative experiences which they have built it from the several events and major obstacles that they went through it. Subsequently, they will pass their essence down to the next generation. There is an Arabic proverb said " the only thing you learn after it is too late is experience" , so based on that, we can draw our future without re-experiencing our past errors. Moreover, aged individuals are memories of our history. The elders lived in contemporary with major and big events in the past, so the only way to find out exactly what happened in that period is through people who have witnessed those actions. Consequently, the older people depict the history to us such as a live show in a TV channel. In conclusion, there are both views for and against the presence of aged individuals in the family home. Though some people list many disadvantages butting ahead the issue of the money that spend in the elders' health, in my opinion older people are driving our life towards the right path with their wisdom and expert.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
represent one of the fundamental factors of making our homes happy.
Yet
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
account aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as a burden upon families
particularly
regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
spending aspect.
Personally
, I believe that the presence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in our families has great advantages and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts in our life.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assert that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need a special care. That by its role will affect
directly
the families' revenue. To put it
simply
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fragile and vulnerable to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
diseases and that means they need hospital admissions and medications which all require lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
In addition
, the productivity of the advanced age individuals decreases by time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that accomplishes to the conclusion that there is no compensation for that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
expended for the sake of the elders' health.

Nevertheless
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a cumulative
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "experience"?
experiences
which they have built it from the several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and major obstacles that they went through it.
Subsequently
, they will pass their essence down to the
next
generation. There is an Arabic proverb said
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
; the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing you learn after it is too late is
Possible spelling mistake found.
experience&quot
;
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
based on that, we can draw our future without re-experiencing our past errors.

Moreover
, aged individuals are memories of our history. The elders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in contemporary with major and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
in the past,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to find out exactly what happened in that period is through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have witnessed those actions.
Consequently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
depict the history to us such as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
in a TV channel.

In conclusion
, there are both views for and against the presence of aged individuals in the family home. Though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
list
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages butting ahead the issue of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that spend in the elders' health, in my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are driving our life towards the right path with their wisdom and expert.
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IELTS essay What are the advantages and disadvantages of having older people living in the family home

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
322 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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