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We must reduce overhead here at the café. Instead of opening at 6 a.m. weekdays, we will now open at 8 a.m. On weekends, we will only be open from 9 a.m. until 4 p.m. The decrease in hours of operations will help save money because we won’t be paying f

We must reduce overhead here at the café. Instead of opening at 6 a. m. weekdays, we will now open at 8 a. m. On weekends, we will only be open from 9 a. m. until 4 p. m. The decrease in hours of operations will help save money because we won’t be paying f Dla5E
The owner of the cafe provide a strategy to save money and remain on the business. While he assume that this is the best strategy, his argument is weak, and rife with holes. The owner didn't provide a strong prove for his results. There is no prove that reducing these hours which he suggest will save money. The sales might be higher, and expenses might be less during the hours that he is willing to eliminate. People mainly buy coffee or drink in their way to work, and tend to spend more time out during weekend nights. Also, operation expenses might be less during these hours. Meanwhile, he could strengthen his statement by providing a statical analysis of sales and expenses during hours and days of the business operation. This analysis will provide a righteous result of which hours of operation reveal more profits for the business. Furthermore, reducing hours of operation might not be the best answer to save money. Business success lay on different reasons, business location, the quantity and the quality of products the business provide. So, the owner would achieve better results if he build his conclusion on comprehensive business analysis to find the real causes of his business loss. He might find that the business location is the problem, or he need to improve his products quality to achieve more practical results. At the end, while the business owner argument is persuasive, reducing hours of operation may save him money. But further assessment should be carried out to achieve long term success for his business.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
of the
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
a strategy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and remain on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. While he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "assumes", "assumed".
assume
that this is the best strategy, his argument is weak, and rife with holes.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
didn't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
a strong
Did you mean "proof" (noun) instead of prove (verb)?
prove
for his results. There is no prove that reducing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
which he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "suggests", "suggested".
suggest
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. The sales
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be higher, and expenses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be less during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
that he is willing to eliminate.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
mainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
coffee or drink in their way to work, and tend to spend more time out during weekend nights.
Also
,
The word 'operation' doesn't fit in this context.
operation expenses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be less during these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. Meanwhile, he could strengthen his statement by providing a
Possible spelling mistake found.
statical
analysis of sales and expenses during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
and days of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
operation
. This analysis will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
a righteous result of which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
operation
reveal more profits for the business.

Furthermore
, reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
operation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not be the best answer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Business
success lay on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
location, the quantity and the quality of products the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
would achieve better results if he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "builds", "built".
build
his conclusion on comprehensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
analysis to find the real causes of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
loss. He
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
find that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
location is the problem, or he need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
his products quality to achieve more practical results.

At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
argument is persuasive, reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
operation
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
him
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
further
assessment should
be carried
out to achieve long term success for his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
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IELTS essay We must reduce overhead here at the café. Instead of opening at 6 a. m. weekdays, we will now open at 8 a. m. On weekends, we will only be open from 9 a. m. until 4 p. m. The decrease in hours of operations will help save money because we won’t be paying f

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • We must reduce overhead here at the café. Instead of opening at 6 a.m. weekdays, we will now open at 8 a.m. On weekends, we will only be open from 9 a.m. until 4 p.m. The decrease in hours of operations will help save money because we won’t be paying f