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We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer-based technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers?

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer-based technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers? b1KP
In the modern world, it is almost impossible to survive without technology related to computers. Numerous aspects of life would be heavily impacted due to increased reliability on computing machines; however, it is not entirely beneficial for humans to be dependent on robotics. On the one hand, it would not be wrong to say that that business, companies would only be able to compete well in the market, if they use latest technologies. Nowadays, online shopping is becoming popular amongst the masses, therefore, all the multinationals must rely on social network sites and other related platforms. For instance, a number of individuals have stopped going to stores and prefer using technology-based networks to fulfil their needs. Another important change in future due to technology would be proliferated online crimes. Stealing of personnel data would be common and law enforcement agencies would be required to change their existing system. On the other hand, in my opinion, it would not be beneficial for us to depend ourselves fully on technology. There could be a rapid decline in overall health of human beings. Using computers, shall restrain people from proper physical movement. Individuals will be lazy and attract various health issues such as obesity, lower- back problems. Secondly, it could also be argued that social gatherings and interactions would decrease. Latest technologies such as skype, Facebook would replace weekend parties and community programs. Such changes could result in rampant increase in mental-health problems, that would be hard to control in the upcoming times. To recapitulate, computer technologies would provide enormous benefits to merchant industries but would posses a threat of online crimes along with various health issues.
In the modern world, it is almost impossible to survive without
technology
related to computers. Numerous aspects of life would be
heavily
impacted due to increased reliability on computing machines;
however
, it is not
entirely
beneficial for humans to be dependent on robotics.

On the one hand, it would not be
wrong
to say that that business,
companies
would
only
be able to compete well in the market, if they
use
latest
technologies
. Nowadays, online shopping is becoming popular amongst the masses,
therefore
, all the multinationals
must
rely on social network sites and other related platforms.
For instance
, a number of individuals have
stopped
going to stores and prefer using technology-based networks to fulfil their needs. Another
important
change
in future due to
technology
would
be proliferated
online crimes. Stealing of personnel data would be common and law enforcement agencies would
be required
to
change
their existing system.

On the other hand
, in my opinion, it would not be beneficial for us to depend ourselves
fully
on
technology
. There could be a rapid decline in
overall
health of human beings. Using computers, shall restrain
people
from proper physical movement. Individuals will be lazy and attract various health issues such as obesity, lower- back problems.
Secondly
, it could
also
be argued
that social gatherings and interactions would decrease.
Latest
technologies
such as skype, Facebook would replace weekend parties and community programs. Such
changes
could result in rampant increase in mental-health problems, that would be
hard
to control in the upcoming times.

To recapitulate, computer
technologies
would provide enormous benefits to merchant industries
but
would posses a threat of online crimes along with various health issues.
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IELTS essay We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer-based technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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