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Today’s schools should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.14

Today’s schools should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. with this statement? v. 14
Financial management is considered to be one of the vital skills in the modern world. Many people have an opinion that schools must provide basic lessons to students pertaining to this topic. I completely agree with this argument because of two reasons which will be explained below. Firstly, learning money management starting from a young age is a great way to inculcate that skill in children. Basic skills such as saving money and spending it wisely are excellent ways to teach them how to handle the money wisely. Several studies consistently proved that the skills, people learn at their young age, withstand with them throughout their lifetime. For instance, a number of offspring saves money in piggy banks as a hobby and when they enter in adult stage, they continue this hobby by saving money in banks. Therefore, it is evident that studying financial management starting from primary schools helps people throughout their life. Similarly, the current world is going through a critical financial crisis. Due to that, practically experienced financial professionals are in high demand in every nation. If students attain knowledge in finance from an early age, they develop and nurture their practical as well as theoretical skills in that specific field, which encourage them to consider accounting as their future career. As per a recent survey by Money magazine among 100 experts in accounting field, more than 22% of them learned the basic financial skills from their parents or teachers during their early years. Because of this, effective money management is an essential skill that must be included in the school syllabus. To conclude, I firmly believe that basic knowledge about managing wealth should be included in school curriculum, which support them to understand the value of effective management of money. Moreover, this approach attracts many children into the field of economics that may lead to the birth of multifarious financial experts around the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
is considered
to be one of the vital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in the modern world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have an opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
lessons to students pertaining to this topic. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this argument
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of two reasons which will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
below.

Firstly
, learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
starting from a young age is a great way to inculcate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
in children.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and spending it
wisely
Did you mean "is"?
are
excellent ways to teach them how to handle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
wisely
. Several studies
consistently
proved that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
learn at their young age, withstand with them throughout their lifetime.
For instance
, a number of offspring saves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in piggy banks as a hobby and when they enter in adult stage, they continue this hobby by saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in banks.
Therefore
, it is evident that studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
starting from primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
throughout their life.

Similarly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
world is going through a critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
crisis. Due to that,
practically
experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
professionals are in high demand in every nation. If students attain knowledge in finance from an early age, they develop and nurture their practical
as well
as theoretical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in that specific field, which encourage them to consider accounting as their future career. As per a recent survey by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
magazine among 100 experts in accounting field, more than 22% of them learned the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
from their parents or teachers during their early years.
Because of this
, effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
is an essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be included
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
syllabus.

To conclude
, I
firmly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
knowledge about managing wealth should
be included
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum, which support them to understand the value of effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Moreover
, this approach attracts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children into the field of economics that may lead to the birth of multifarious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
experts around the world.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Today’s schools should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. with this statement? v. 14

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
8.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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