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Today people can work and live anywhere they want, because of improvement of technology communication and transport. Do the advantages of development outweigh the disadvantages?

Today people can work and live anywhere they want, because of improvement of technology communication and transport. Do the advantages of development outweigh the disadvantages? eoPV
Thanks to technical gadgets such as internet wireless telephony and the faster modes of transportation whereby it has become easier for people that they can live and work anywhere because of development due to increase internet. There are various advantages than disadvantages for which the view point will be elaborated in the upcoming paragraphs. To begin with, there are some reasons why people can work and live anywhere due to communication and technology. Firstly, all people have more chance to get job opportunities because of technical advances. Due to this, not only they can work at their home but also they can work in any part of the world for any company. They just need a laptop and connection with internet. They can communication with their clients as well as their family members. Therefore they can work efficiently. Turning towards the transport system, with the modification of modes of transportation individuals can work travel anywhere due to a lot of facility. For instance, a person who lives in Delhi and has to attend a meeting in Mumbai at afternoon and in Kolkata at night, so he can Book his flights ticket with the help of internet and he doesn't have to waste time to wait for public vehicles. Resultantly, it becomes very easy for people to travel in plane and train. Shifting towards the drawbacks, every invention has some drawbacks. The development of technology reduces face to face interactive, as it puts a bad influence on tradition. For example in the previous time, people used to write letters to another person and express their feeling in a letter and when they used to get together, they used to talk face to face which proved more appropriate. Nevertheless, nowadays they do not get together, as they like to talk on social website. Due to this, it is an issue for tradition culture. To conclude, no doubt that technology, communication and transport have made the life easier for people but there is also some demerits which outweigh the merits.
Thanks to technical gadgets such as internet wireless telephony and the faster modes of transportation whereby it has become easier for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
anywhere
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of development
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to increase internet. There are various advantages than disadvantages for which the view point will
be elaborated
in the upcoming paragraphs. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
anywhere
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to communication and technology.
Firstly
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
job opportunities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of technical advances.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to this, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at their home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in any part of the world for any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
need a laptop and connection with internet. They
The word 'communication' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
can communication
with their clients
as well
as their family members.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
efficiently
. Turning towards the transport system, with the modification of modes of transportation individuals can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
travel anywhere
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
facility.
For instance
, a person who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in Delhi and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
attend a meeting in Mumbai at afternoon and in Kolkata at night,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he can Book his flights ticket with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
internet and
he doesn't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
waste time to wait for public vehicles.
Resultantly
, it becomes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to travel in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
and train. Shifting towards the drawbacks, every invention has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks. The development of technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
interactive, as it puts a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence on tradition.
For example
in the previous time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to write letters to another person and express their feeling in a letter and when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
together, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to talk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
which proved more appropriate.
Nevertheless
, nowadays they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
together, as they like to talk on social website.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to this, it is an issue for tradition culture.
To conclude
, no doubt that technology, communication and transport have made the life easier for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
demerits which outweigh the merits.
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IELTS essay Today people can work and live anywhere they want, because of improvement of technology communication and transport. Do the advantages of development outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
337 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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