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These days too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine, rather than following a healthy lifestyle. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Nowadays dependence of medical experts and service become a growing demand among communities. Although practicing a day-to-day healthy routine may make us have a better understanding about our health conditions, but I am of the opinion that modern medical technologies are able to increase our sense of well-being in a new effective way. The following essay will provide evidences to prove my opinions. First and foremost, there is no denying that well-qualified doctors and scientific researches are able to reassure people, and it could be explain by the intensive education years to get doctor’s degree as well as many medical experiments needed before putting medicines into public uses. Therefore, the more people reply on them, the more security they might have and then able to recover sickness well. Also, most people will feel comfortable and get better metal health if their doctors can show concern for patients’ interest and provide fair and accurate information. Furthermore, everybody knows that health care professionals play a crucial role in ensuring the working diagnostic process for the patients. A better example of this can be best provided in case that some people have such difficult diseases related with genes, from which the only possible solution for them to improve health and longevity is medication. Likewise, contagious disease and other epidemic conditions are for instance, perhaps effectively eliminate only through the timely measures and modern treatments by doctors On the other hand, individual’s health awareness seems to be positive associated with good lifestyle behaviors, through focusing more on food intake, exercising, and staying away with unexpected habits or risks. There are considerable evidences to show that consistently consuming a high-fiber diet probably will helps to lower the risks of such popular illness as high-cholesterol levels, diabetes, and even other types of cancer, while quitting smoking and moderate drinking will support us to avoid lung cancer and heart-attack and live longer. Apparently, a major invests for health by taking medical service and pharmaceutical products instead of following healthy habits these days, and I agree that it is important for us to keep strong connection with that medical professionals in order to obtain knowledge about developing good routine habits which suitable of each different conditions of life. A good case in my view is to take general physical check up about twice per year to avoid some risks of illness as early as possible.
Nowadays dependence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
experts and service become a growing demand among communities. Although practicing a day-to-day healthy routine may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us have a better understanding about our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
conditions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I am of the opinion that modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
technologies are able to increase our sense of well-being in a new effective way. The following essay will provide evidences to prove my opinions.
First
and foremost, there is no denying that well-qualified doctors and scientific researches are able to reassure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and it could be
Consider using the past participle “explained”.
explain
by the intensive education years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
doctor’s degree
as well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
experiments needed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
putting medicines into public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
.
Therefore
, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
reply on them, the more security they might have and then able to recover sickness well.
Also
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will feel comfortable and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better metal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
if their doctors can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
concern for patients’ interest and provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
and accurate information.

Furthermore
, everybody knows that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care professionals play a crucial role in ensuring the working diagnostic process for the patients. A better example of this can be best provided in case that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have such difficult diseases related with genes, from which the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible solution for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and longevity is medication.
Likewise
, contagious disease and other epidemic conditions are
for instance
, perhaps
effectively
eliminate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
through the timely measures and modern treatments by doctors

On the other hand
, individual’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
awareness seems to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
associated with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
lifestyle behaviors, through focusing more on food intake, exercising, and staying away with unexpected habits or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
. There are considerable evidences to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
consistently
consuming a high-fiber diet
probably
will
The modal verb ‘will’ requires the verb’s base form.
helps
to lower the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of such popular illness as high-cholesterol levels, diabetes, and even other types of cancer, while quitting smoking and moderate drinking will support us to avoid lung cancer and heart-attack and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer.

Apparently
, a major invests for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
by taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
service and pharmaceutical products
instead
of following healthy habits these days, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
strong connection with that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
professionals in order to obtain knowledge about developing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
routine habits which suitable of each
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
conditions of life. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
case in my view is to take general physical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
up about twice per year to avoid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of illness as early as possible.
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IELTS essay These days too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine, rather than following a healthy lifestyle.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
397 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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