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There is a reading passage in which the writer states that humans and other mammals beheave alturistic. On the other hand, the lecturer rejects this claim with some examples in the listening part. Write an essay to contrast them.

There is a reading passage in which the writer states that humans and other mammals beheave alturistic. On the other hand, the lecturer rejects this claim with some examples in the listening part. Write an essay to contrast them. YL3XV
In this set of materials both the writer and lecturer are discussing about the alturism. Alturism is a type of behavior in which a person sacrifices its own interest for that of his or her groups. They are totally disagree with each others. While the writer claims that humans and mamals behave generally in alturistic ways while the lecturer states that they do not act to sacrifices themselves. In the following paragraphs it will be explained with several examples. Firstly, the writer gives an example shows that take risks for their life to save their group as a guard. On the contary with it, the lecturer states that the guard meerkat eat before standing guard. So it does not face with the caution of death. Moreover the writer points out that the guard meerkat has to flee alone after it issues an alarm. Unlike the writer, the lecturer states that the meerkats have their own alarm system for survival. Furthermore, there is an example about the humans behaviors as a proof that they behave in alturistic ways. Adverse the writer, according to the lecrurer it is true that people can donate their organs to people they do not know. But it is not alturism because the donator people gains social respect. All in all, the lecturer totally opposes to the writer's allegations. The lecturer rejects the writer in all aspects and shows us that human or other mammals do not behave alturistically.
In this set of materials both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writer
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lecturer
are
Did you mean simply "discussing the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discussing about the
Possible spelling mistake found.
alturism
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Alturism
is a type of behavior in which a person sacrifices its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
interest for that of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
groups. They are
totally
Consider using a past participle here: "disagreed".
disagree
with each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "other"?
others
. While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writer
claims that humans and
Possible spelling mistake found.
mamals
behave
generally
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
alturistic
ways while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lecturer
states that they do not act to sacrifices themselves. In the following paragraphs it will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
with several examples.

Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writer
gives an example
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
for their life to save their group as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guard
. On the
Possible spelling mistake found.
contary
with it, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lecturer
states that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guard
Possible spelling mistake found.
meerkat
eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
standing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guard
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it does not face with the caution of death.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writer
points out that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guard
Possible spelling mistake found.
meerkat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
flee alone after it issues an alarm. Unlike the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writer
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lecturer
states that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
meerkats
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
alarm system for survival.

Furthermore
, there is an example about the humans behaviors as a proof that they behave in
Possible spelling mistake found.
alturistic
ways. Adverse the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writer
, according to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
lecrurer
it is true that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can donate their organs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
they do not know.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it is not
Possible spelling mistake found.
alturism
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
donator
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
gains
social respect.

All in all, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lecturer
totally
opposes to the writer's allegations. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lecturer
rejects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writer
in all aspects and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
us that human or other mammals do not behave
Possible spelling mistake found.
alturistically
.
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IELTS essay There is a reading passage in which the writer states that humans and other mammals beheave alturistic. On the other hand, the lecturer rejects this claim with some examples in the listening part. Write an essay to contrast them.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
242 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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