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You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

: There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. VBYxw
Young people today are under pressure to do well at school and go on to higher education or find a good job. For this reason many people think that non academic subjects are waste of time and that schools should only focus on more academic subjects. I would disagree with this opinion and in this essay will explain why. Firstly there is a variety of skills are taught in non academic subjects that are essential for living. A school should not only be focus on academic areas but should give children a range of skills. For example children learn teamwork, discipline, leadership skills and how to solve problems with non academic subjects. Secondly, not all children want and need academic subjects. It is not important for everybody to go higher education and have good result in school. There are some subject that teach children to be more successful and find work easier. Subjects such like cookery and woodwork will be good for some students and give possibilities for job opportunities as chefs or furniture makers, for example. Finally, school can be very stressful and if all subjects are only very academic then it is bad for children. Non academic subjects like physical education and music reduce their stress better than only with academic subjects. In conclusion I argue that non academic subjects are important because they can help children learn skills, find work and reduce stress. A school should not only be focus on academic success but teach lots of skills to children.
Young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are under pressure to do well at
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school
and go on to higher education or find a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job.
For this reason
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many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that non
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academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are waste of time and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
focus on more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. I would disagree with this opinion and in this essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why.

Firstly
there is a variety of
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skills
are taught
in non
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academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that are essential for living. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
be focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
should give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
a range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
For example
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children
learn teamwork, discipline, leadership
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and how to solve problems with non
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
subjects.

Secondly
, not all
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children
want and need
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academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. It is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for everybody to go higher education and have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
result in
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school
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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subject
that teach
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children
to be more successful and find work easier.
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Subjects
such like cookery and woodwork will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students and give possibilities for job opportunities as chefs or furniture makers,
for example
.

Finally
,
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school
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
stressful and if all
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subjects
are
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only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
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academic
then it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for
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children
. Non
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academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like physical education and music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
better than
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only
with
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academic
subjects.

In
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, I".
conclusion I
argue that non
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academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn
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skills
, find work and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
be focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
success
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
teach lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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IELTS essay : There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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