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There are a lot of inventions nowadays, which invention do you think is more important in our day-to-day life. What are the benefits and detrimental effects of it?

There are a lot of inventions nowadays, which invention do you think is more important in our day-to-day life. What are the benefits and detrimental effects of it? kYjl2
Inventions are integral part of growth and development which essentially helps in solving problems in the most effective manner. Nowadays, inventions are increasing exponentially, effectively making our day-to-day life better and more productive. Smartphones, for instance, is the most important invention of all time, but it comes with other detrimental effects that can't be neglected. With the coming of smartphones, people have started living their lives in most coordinated way. It is tool for communication with family, friends, relatives and other important business discussions and decisions. It has also provided parents with the peace of mind that they can always know the whereabouts of their child. Moreover, it has become the most integral part of business routines and meetings, that working without smartphones seems almost impossible these days. Eventually, smartphones have made life easier with all the applications, tools and other essential elements of communications. However, there are some major downsides to the usage of smartphones. Firstly, there are several reports of brain problems which are increasing drastically now due to excess usage of these devices. Since, smartphones emits and works with the web of signals and radiations, excess use can cause serious brain injuries and detrimental damages. Moreover, people depends too much on these devices for their productivity and performance, which leads to addiction and can eventually cause negative impact on their work. Also, people using smartphones for sleep inducing activities, unreliable navigation situations and other unwanted habits can result into serious malfunctions in the lifecycle of their work and natural lifestyle. Hence, it can be concluded that inventions such as coming of smartphones, have some major benefits which indisputably improves the productivity, but also comes with inevitable harmful circumstances which should also be taken into consideration.
Inventions are integral part of growth and development which
essentially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in solving problems in the most effective manner. Nowadays, inventions are increasing
exponentially
,
effectively
making our day-to-day life better and more productive. Smartphones,
for instance
, is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
invention of all time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
detrimental effects that can't
be neglected
.

With the coming of smartphones,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
living their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in most coordinated way. It is
Consider using a past participle here: "tooled".
tool
for communication with family, friends, relatives and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
business discussions and decisions. It has
also
provided parents with the peace of mind that they can always know the whereabouts of their child.
Moreover
, it has become the most integral part of business routines and meetings, that working without smartphones seems almost impossible these days.
Eventually
, smartphones have made life easier with all the applications, tools and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
essential elements of communications.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
major downsides to the usage of smartphones.
Firstly
, there are several reports of brain problems which are increasing
drastically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
due to excess usage of these devices. Since, smartphones emits and works with the web of signals and radiations, excess
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
can cause serious brain injuries and detrimental damages.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
depends
too much on these devices for their productivity and performance, which leads to addiction and can
eventually
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on their work.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
using smartphones for sleep inducing activities, unreliable navigation situations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
unwanted habits can result into serious malfunctions in the lifecycle of their work and natural lifestyle.

Hence
, it can
be concluded
that inventions such as coming of smartphones, have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
major benefits which
indisputably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the productivity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with inevitable harmful circumstances which should
also
be taken
into consideration.
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IELTS essay There are a lot of inventions nowadays, which invention do you think is more important in our day-to-day life. What are the benefits and detrimental effects of it?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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