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the pursuit of wealth has become the main motivation for many business owners nowadays. do you think this a positive or negative development?

the pursuit of wealth has become the main motivation for many business owners nowadays. do you think this a positive or negative development? bYg2g
People believe that the owner just focus on making as more profit as possible is a good thing. Having said that, there is a more persuasive argument that can lead to financial misconduct on the part of business owner. On the one hand, national economies can develop rapidly when businessman are promoted by a huge profit. The desire to acquire wealth propels them to make their businesses more successful. The success of business grow quickly bring enormous advantage to the society as its promote the growth of a whole. For example, when companies seek to maximize their profits, it eventually leads to corporate growth. This increases cash flow in the overall economy and boosts economic production. To keep up, companies have to hire more workers, which creates more jobs and leads to even more money entering the economy. Nevertheless, focusing too much on making profits would lead to financial crimes such as graft, bribery, and extortion. People may be tempted to skirt laws, such as anti-monopoly and corruption regulations, to make even more money if they concentrate too much on making themselves rich. This is evident from studying the economic growth of some Asian countries. As these countries shifted to free market systems, the desire for wealth became widespread and the amount of wrongdoing increased dramatically. This is led to a breakdown of traditional social order and eventually disruption the development of these fledgling economies. In conclusion, some companies pursuit for the affluences whereas it is clear that there is a great drawback when the owner concentrate on money purpose solely.
People
believe that the owner
just
focus on making as more
profit
as possible is a
good
thing. Having said that, there is a more persuasive argument that can
lead
to financial misconduct on the part of business owner. On the one hand, national
economies
can develop
rapidly
when businessman
are promoted
by a huge
profit
. The desire to acquire wealth propels them to
make
their businesses more successful. The success of business
grow
quickly
bring enormous advantage to the society as its promote the growth of a whole.
For example
, when
companies
seek to maximize their
profits
, it
eventually
leads to corporate growth. This increases cash flow in the
overall
economy
and boosts economic production. To
keep
up,
companies
have to
hire more workers, which creates more jobs and leads to even more money entering the
economy
.
Nevertheless
, focusing too much on making
profits
would
lead
to financial crimes such as graft, bribery, and extortion.
People
may
be tempted
to skirt laws, such as anti-monopoly and corruption regulations, to
make
even more money if they concentrate too much on making themselves rich. This is evident from studying the economic growth of
some
Asian countries. As these countries shifted to free market systems, the desire for wealth became widespread and the amount of wrongdoing increased
dramatically
. This
is led
to a breakdown of traditional social order and
eventually
disruption the development of these fledgling
economies
.
In conclusion
,
some
companies
pursuit for the
affluences
whereas it is
clear
that there is a great drawback when the owner concentrate on money purpose
solely
.
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IELTS essay the pursuit of wealth has become the main motivation for many business owners nowadays. do you think this a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
261 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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