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The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicines. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree?

The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicines. Government funding should reflect this. PewJ
It is always recommended that prevention is a vital way to deal with diseases or health issues before any treatment is applied. Therefore, some people believe the government should invest more funds in this process. Personally, I strongly agree with this idea. This essay will demonstrate two major points why it is beneficial to people. To begin with, there are a huge number of fatal diseases with no cure. For example, some types of cancers are classified as incurable ones even with proper methods, patients still have to face death whether or not. Besides, a novel virus can occur and humans will need time to examine, create and produce vaccines to handle it. At this moment, the whole world is confronting Covid-19 with millions infected cases and the figure is still increasing day by day. If no vaccines are invented, this phenomenon will end up taking millions of lives. However, by following the safety guidelines from governments, citizens can reduce the risk of catching this virus. Moreover, the medicine and treatments are costly, especially, with low income class, it is a heavy burden to their finances. Specifically, in some developing countries where numerous poor residents do not even have health insurance, they will not afford to pay for the hospital fees. As a result, it will leave them a big debt and it could take their whole life just to repay it if they reside in a country that has expansive medical expenses. In conclusion, a healthy lifestyle that can help people to avoid illnesses and also, the government should raise the awareness of their citizens about the necessity of the prevention of health problems.
It is always recommended that prevention is a vital way to deal with diseases or health issues
before
any treatment
is applied
.
Therefore
,
some
people
believe the
government
should invest more funds in this process.
Personally
, I
strongly
agree
with this
idea
. This essay will demonstrate two major points why it is beneficial to
people
.

To
begin
with, there are a huge number of fatal diseases with no cure.
For example
,
some
types of cancers
are classified
as incurable ones even with proper methods, patients
still
have to
face death
whether or not
.
Besides
, a novel virus can occur and humans will need time to examine, create and produce vaccines to handle it. At this moment, the whole world is confronting Covid-19 with millions infected cases and the figure is
still
increasing day by day. If no vaccines
are invented
, this phenomenon will
end
up taking millions of
lives
.
However
, by following the safety guidelines from
governments
, citizens can
reduce
the
risk
of catching this virus.

Moreover
, the medicine and treatments are costly,
especially
, with low income
class
, it is a heavy burden to their finances.
Specifically
, in
some
developing countries
where numerous poor residents do not even have health insurance, they will not afford to pay for the hospital fees.
As a result
, it will
leave
them a
big
debt and it could take their whole life
just
to repay it if they reside in a country that has expansive medical expenses.

In conclusion
, a healthy lifestyle that can
help
people
to avoid illnesses and
also
, the
government
should raise the awareness of their citizens about the necessity of the prevention of health problems.
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IELTS essay The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicines. Government funding should reflect this.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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