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The only way to improve the safety on our own road is to have stricter punishment for driving offenders. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Indeed, traffic congestion is increasing owing to excessive use of vehicles by individuals. Although a breed of people deem that in a number of countries accidents are occurring due to the fact of careless driving so they believe that the only way to improve the safety for denizens is imposing the stringent punishments. However, I disagree the strict punishments can reduce the large number of accidents. I assert that other steps can be taken to improve this issue. To commence with, there are numerous of accidents are causing due to lack of proper development of roads. In many countries government is working on road infrastructure but a number of roads are still in progress. Therefore, it can cause the accidents and punish to the drivers is not a good way to reduce the accidents. Moreover, driving offenders are not responsible for accidents if they are not aware about the renovation of the roads. Furthermore it cannot be denied that lack of proper signs on the roads can occur the mishappenings on roads. Actually, traffic signals play crucial role in driving. These signals can help drivers to be alert in a specific are. In addition to this, nowadays there are many roads which have sharp curves as well as they are too narrowed, due to the fact is that government should make widen roads and provide the prone curves. What is more, in hilly areas because of snow, the roads becomes slippery which is very difficult to drive the car on the roads. To examplify, poor climate condition cause the road accidents. Hence, modern technological innovation can be used to deal with the situation. However, a certain group of society believe that high authority should impose strict rule to reduce the accidents. Primarily, there should be higher tax allow to the drivers those drive tha car very fast. Secondly, a person should have lisence and above 18 individuals should drive the car. Moving further, if a person drink while driving so government should arrest that person and send to the prison with high penalty. In abridgement, as per my above confabulation it is axiomatic that although there are certain situations where driving offenders are not responsible for accidents, yet stringent punishments can reduce the accidents on the roads.
Indeed
, traffic congestion is increasing owing to excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of vehicles by individuals. Although a breed of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
deem that in a number of countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
are occurring due to the fact of careless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the safety for denizens is imposing the stringent punishments.
However
, I disagree the strict punishments can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
. I assert that other steps can
be taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
this issue. To commence with, there are numerous of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
are causing due to lack of proper development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
An apostrophe may be missing.
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is working on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
infrastructure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
are
still
in progress.
Therefore
, it can cause the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
and punish to the drivers is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
offenders are not responsible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
if they are not aware about the renovation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
it cannot
be denied
that lack of proper signs on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
can occur the
Possible spelling mistake found.
mishappenings
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. Actually, traffic signals play crucial role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
. These signals can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
drivers to be alert in a specific are.
In addition
to this, nowadays there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
which have sharp curves
as well
as they are too narrowed, due to the fact is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
widen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and provide the prone curves.
What is more
, in hilly areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of snow, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
becomes slippery which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to drive the car on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. To
Possible spelling mistake found.
examplify
, poor climate condition cause the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
.
Hence
, modern technological innovation can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to deal with the situation.
However
, a certain group of society believe that high authority should impose strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
.
Primarily
, there should be higher tax
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
to the drivers those drive
Possible spelling mistake found.
tha
car
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
.
Secondly
, a person should have
Possible spelling mistake found.
lisence
and above 18 individuals should drive the car. Moving
further
, if a person drink while
Use a comma before ‘so’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
driving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should arrest that person and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
to the prison with high penalty. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
abridgement
, as per my above confabulation it is axiomatic that although there are certain situations where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
offenders are not responsible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
,
yet
stringent punishments can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
.
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IELTS essay The only way to improve the safety on our own road is to have stricter punishment for driving offenders.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
377 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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