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The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life.

The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. OVykE
Opportunities don't happen you need to create them. Although Individuals in past used to have one career, in today's modern world everyone is trying to create multiple professions where they can earn a good amount of wages. I will discuss both the views of having a sole or different type of careers Single Profession was very popular in the old days. Firstly, people used to do jobs like Farming, Industry workers, etc. they tend to have a single occupation because the technology was not up to date as compared to today's time. For Instance, If a person is working in a newspaper factory he will work their entire life earning a survivable salary because he was not having access to other options. Furthermore, Opportunities at that time were also scarce and people who tried to find other options were not able to handle or manage the time because of fewer options to travel facility. If a person is already doing a job in factory and he needs to do a physical labour job in a farm would not be possible. In today's Globalised world all of them have multiple Occupations depending on their interest. Firstly, He can go to a college and learn about the Industry depending on is interest. For Illustration a person who Interested in arts he can learn painting and start his own business or art museum and sell the paintings in action. Secondly, the person can teach online or in Institutes depending on flexible timing. In Addition, many individuals are creating online course and selling it on online education portal which gives a secondary source of income. In my point of view persons can have primary and secondary careers depending on his choice. What are odds of multiple careers? well depends on individuals how they want to live their life having a second career is wonderful for your growth plus giving you a financial security through out the life
Opportunities don't happen you need to create them. Although Individuals in past
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to have one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's modern world everyone is trying to create multiple professions where they can earn a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount of wages. I will discuss both the views of having a sole or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
type of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
careers


Single Profession was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to do jobs like Farming, Industry workers, etc. they tend to have a single occupation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the technology was not up to date as compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's time.
For Instance
, If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is working in a newspaper factory he will work their entire life earning a survivable salary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he was not having access to other options.
Furthermore
, Opportunities at that time were
also
scarce and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who tried to find other options were not able to handle or manage the time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of fewer options to travel facility. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is already doing a job in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
factory and
he needs to do a physical
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
job in a farm would not be possible.

In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
Possible spelling mistake. 'Globalised' is British English.
Globalised
world all of them have multiple Occupations depending on their interest.
Firstly
, He can go to a college and learn about the Industry depending on is interest. For Illustration a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who Interested in arts he can learn
If 'learn' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to paint".
painting
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business or art museum and sell the paintings in action.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can teach online or in Institutes depending on flexible timing.
In Addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals are creating online course and selling it on online education portal which gives a secondary source of income.

In my point of view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
can have primary and secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
depending on his choice. What are odds of multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
?
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
well
depends on individuals how they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their life having a second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
is wonderful for your growth plus giving you a financial security
Did you mean "throughout"?
through out
the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
life
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IELTS essay The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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