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The government should spend

The government should spend wODPl
Needless to say, education is the most prominent requirement to stand as a person in society. A section of society believes that the government should spend more money on educating people instead of spending it on arts, while others argue. I, however, partially agree with the notion. In the given essay, I will explain both the aforementioned views and substantiate my opinion. To begin with, several art forms such as music and drama help people to take a break from their day-to-day life and be entertained. Besides, refreshment is considered as one of the most important assets in order to be more productive, and music concerts and plays help people to be refreshed and gain vitality. Thus, it is necessary for the government to spend money on arranging the same concerts for society. Furthermore, the cost of education in many countries has significantly risen over the past few years. Besides, numerous schools and colleges are moving towards gamified education, which helps students to get a better understanding of a concept by computer animation, and the cost required for such an approach is quite high. Therefore, schools and colleges require some association from the government to implement advanced education. To conclude, after analyzing the above discussion, it is quite evident that education is indeed important but it does not mean we should avoid fundings on art. Art is also an important part of society which helps native as well as foreigners to get a better understanding of country’s history and culture. Therefore, both the said fields require equal fundings from the ministry
Needless to say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the most prominent requirement to stand as a person in society. A section of society believes that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spend more money on educating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
instead
of spending it on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, while others argue. I,
however
,
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the notion. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
essay, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
both the aforementioned views and substantiate my opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
forms such as music and drama
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to take a break from their day-to-day life and
be entertained
.
Besides
, refreshment
is considered
as one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
assets in order to be more productive, and music concerts and plays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
be refreshed
and gain vitality.
Thus
, it is necessary for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to spend money on arranging the same concerts for society.

Furthermore
, the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries has
significantly
risen over the past few years.
Besides
, numerous schools and colleges are moving towards
Possible spelling mistake found.
gamified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
students to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better understanding of a concept by computer animation, and the cost required for such an approach is quite high.
Therefore
, schools and colleges require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
association from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to implement advanced education.

To conclude
, after analyzing the above discussion, it is quite evident that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
indeed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it does not mean we should avoid
Possible spelling mistake found.
fundings on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
is
also
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of society which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
native
as well
as foreigners to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better understanding of country’s history and culture.
Therefore
, both the said fields require equal
Possible spelling mistake found.
fundings
from the ministry
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IELTS essay The government should spend

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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