Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The following appeared in a report of the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries at Elm City University. "During her seventeen years as a professor of botany, Professor Thomas has proved herself to be well worth her annual salary of $50,000. Her cla

The following appeared in a report of the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries at Elm City University. " During her seventeen years as a professor of botany, Professor Thomas has proved herself to be well worth her annual salary of $50, 000. Her cla NrWoy
The author contents that by providing Professor Thomas a $10, 000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson Elm City University will be able to retain her in their college. This is being said as the author believes she has proved herself to be well worth her annual salary by her contribution. Although, the argument seems coherent, however, upon scrutiny, one can fathom that it is based on faulty premises and assumption. The most glaring fallacy in this argument is that the author assumes that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college. This may not be true as there are multiple reason an individual takes into consideration when they decide where do they want to work at. There is a huge possibility that Professor Thomas is highly satisfied with the work and culture of Elm City University due to which she wants to always work there. Also there may be a possibility that Elm City University offers her a perfect work life balance due to which she wants to always work there. Hence, the author has rushed to the conclusion before completely analyzing the intent of the Professor. Even if there is a possibility that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college, there is no evidence to support author’s contention that; a $10, 000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson will help to retain her. There might be other reason due to which she might want to change the college. It may happen she doesnot like the culture of the college or she wants to move to a different city owing to personal reasons due to which she wants to leave the university. Hence, the author assumption that a raise and a promotion will help to retain her is based on completely fallacious and incomplete reasoning. Besides this, the author belief that her popularity is evident from the size of her classroom which is largest at the university is also questionable. Its so because her huge class size can be due to the fact that she is very strict and the students attend the classes fearing her wrath. Also, the other reason can be that her subject is one of the foundational courses due to which maximum students enroll themselves in it. Hence, this invalidates the whole argument. Evidently, the author has not thoroughly analyzed the situation before providing the conclusion. Instead of assuming that she may leave the college the author should gather evidence whether this will happen or not. In case there is a possibility, author should carefully analyze reasons why she may leave and try to recommend the solution which caters to that reason. Therefore the author needs to reconstruct the argument, fix the flaws in his logic and provide strong reasoning in order to validate his contention. Without these changes the author’s argument that a raise and a promotion to will help retain professor Thomas will remain questionable, extremely ill constructed and thus unconvincing
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
contents that by providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Professor
Thomas a $10, 000
Possible agreement error. The noun 'raise' seems to be countable, so consider using: "raises".
raise
and a promotion to Department Chairperson Elm City
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
will be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retain
her in their college. This is
being said
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
believes she has proved herself to be well worth her annual salary by her contribution. Although, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
seems coherent,
however
, upon scrutiny, one can fathom that it
is based
on faulty premises and assumption.

The most glaring fallacy in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
assumes that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Professor
Thomas will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
Elm City
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
for another college. This may not be true as there are multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
an individual takes into consideration when they decide where do they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at. There is a huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possibility
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Professor
Thomas is
highly
satisfied with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and culture of Elm City
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to which she
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wants
to always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
there.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
there may be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possibility
that Elm City
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
offers her a perfect
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
work life
balance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to which she
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wants
to always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
there.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
has rushed to the conclusion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
completely analyzing the intent of the Professor.

Even if there is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possibility
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Professor
Thomas will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
Elm City
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
for another college, there is no evidence to support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author’s
contention that; a $10, 000
Possible agreement error. The noun 'raise' seems to be countable, so consider using: "raises".
raise
and a promotion to Department Chairperson will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retain
her. There might be other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to which she might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the college. It may happen she
Possible spelling mistake found.
doesnot
like the culture of the
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
college or
she
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wants
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
city owing to personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to which she
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wants
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
assumption that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raise
and a promotion will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retain
her
is based
on completely fallacious and incomplete reasoning.

Besides
this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
belief that her popularity is evident from the size of her classroom which is largest at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is
also
questionable. Its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
her huge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
size can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the fact that she is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strict and the students attend the classes fearing her wrath.
Also
, the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
can be that her subject is one of the foundational courses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to which maximum students enroll themselves in it.
Hence
, this invalidates the whole argument.

Evidently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
has not
thoroughly
analyzed the situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
providing the conclusion.
Instead
of assuming that she may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
the college the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
should gather evidence whether this will happen or not. In case there is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possibility
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
should
carefully
analyze
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why she may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
and try to recommend the solution which caters to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
needs to reconstruct the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
the flaws in his logic and provide strong reasoning in order to validate his contention. Without these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raise
and a promotion to will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
Thomas will remain questionable,
extremely
ill constructed and
thus
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
unconvincing
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay The following appeared in a report of the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries at Elm City University. " During her seventeen years as a professor of botany, Professor Thomas has proved herself to be well worth her annual salary of $50, 000. Her cla

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
494 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • The following appeared in a report of the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries at Elm City University. "During her seventeen years as a professor of botany, Professor Thomas has proved herself to be well worth her annual salary of $50,000. Her cla