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The following appeared in a health magazine The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles Their responses to a recent survey show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they d

The following appeared in a health magazine The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles Their responses to a recent survey show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they d pReg2
In this passage, the author argues that citizens of Forsythe have adapted a more healthy lifestyle. To support his/her claim, he/she cites result of recent survey, sales of foods product containing kiran, and reduced sales of sulia as well. Quite reasonable though such recommendation appears at first glance, a closer scrutiny reveals that the conclusion lacks crucial supports and therefore we need to consider more evidence to help evaluate such conclusion. To start off, we need evidence to verify if there exists an improvement for citizens' eating habit. While it is shown that they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendation, no evidence serves to rule out the probability that recent survey reflects the truth of citizens' eating habit or government nutritional recommendation is the right demand for citizens' eating habit. Thus, additional evidence is needed to decide whether the result of survey is impartial and such recommendation is accurate requirement based on scientific research. If new information shows that the result of survey is blemished or officials who draft such recommendation doesn't possess sufficient knowledge or investigation for eating habit, it is reasonably safe to claim that the improvement of citizens' eating habit is groundless and his/her claim will be weakened. On the contrary, if new evidence discloses that all of aforementioned surmise could be eliminated, his/her claim will be strengthened. Furthermore, we need more evidence to ascertain whether sales of kiran could effectively lead to decline of cholesterol in citizens. First of all, while kiran might help people to ameliorate cholesterol, we need to understand whether food products produced by kiran also keep such functionality. If major ingredients have been refined and the effective elements for curing cholesterol has been greatly removed, the functionality of product to decrease cholesterol is in great doubt and his/her claim will be rendered much less advisable. Second, we need to know the reason whether citizens could take such food products or how frequently they could take as food. If it turns out that citizens seldom eat such food products after buying, we are unconvinced of the wholesome functionality mentioned above. Last but not least, despite the presence of all previous evidence, a more accurate evaluation of the author's statement regarding also requires further information. Specific evidence is needed to decide whether reduced sales of sulia represent the diminishing chances of eating them by citizens; that is to say, we need to grasp with more concrete statistics about the amount that citizens take sulia in their daily life. If the actual eating amount of sulia doesn't decrease despite its dwindling sales, his/her claim will be weakened. By constrast, if overall ingesting statistics of sulia greatly dampened as its waning sales, we are inclined to regards it as a positive signal that more citizens have stepped into healthier life. In summary, the evidence cited by the author in the argument could not provide sufficiently conclusive information to make his/her claim compelling. As a result, we need to consider more evidence to help evaluate such conclusion.
In this passage, the author argues that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Forsythe
have adapted a more healthy lifestyle. To support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
claim
, he/she cites
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
of recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survey
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
containing
Possible spelling mistake found.
kiran
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
sulia
as well
. Quite reasonable though such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recommendation
appears at
first
glance, a closer scrutiny reveals that the conclusion lacks crucial supports and
therefore
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to consider more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
evaluate such conclusion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
off, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
to verify if there exists an improvement for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
. While it
is shown
that they conform more
closely
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
nutritional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recommendation
, no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
serves to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
out the probability that recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survey
reflects the truth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
nutritional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recommendation
is the right demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
.
Thus
, additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
is needed
to decide whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survey
is impartial and such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recommendation
is accurate requirement based on scientific research. If new information
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survey
is blemished
or officials who draft such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recommendation
doesn't possess sufficient knowledge or investigation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
, it is
reasonably
safe to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
claim
that the improvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
is groundless and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
claim
will
be weakened
.
On the contrary
, if new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
discloses that all of aforementioned surmise could
be eliminated
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
claim
will
be strengthened
.

Furthermore
, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
to ascertain whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
kiran
could
effectively
lead to decline of cholesterol in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, while
Possible spelling mistake found.
kiran
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to ameliorate cholesterol, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to understand whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
produced by
Possible spelling mistake found.
kiran
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
such functionality. If major ingredients have
been refined
and the effective elements for curing cholesterol has been
greatly
removed, the functionality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
to decrease cholesterol is in great doubt and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
claim
will
be rendered
much less advisable. Second, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to know the reason whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
could take such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
or how
frequently
they could take as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. If it turns out that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
seldom eat such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
after buying, we
are unconvinced
of the wholesome functionality mentioned above.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, despite the presence of all previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
, a more accurate evaluation of the author's statement regarding
also
requires
further
information. Specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
is needed
to decide whether
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
sulia
represent the diminishing chances of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
them by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
;
that is
to say, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to grasp with more concrete statistics about the amount that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
take
Possible spelling mistake found.
sulia
in their daily life. If the actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
amount of
Possible spelling mistake found.
sulia
doesn't decrease despite its dwindling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
claim
will
be weakened
. By
Possible spelling mistake found.
constrast
, if
overall
ingesting statistics of
Possible spelling mistake found.
sulia
greatly
dampened as its waning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
, we
are inclined
to regards it as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
signal that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
have stepped into healthier life.

In summary, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
cited by the author in the argument could not provide
sufficiently
conclusive information to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
claim
compelling. As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to consider more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
evaluate such conclusion.
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IELTS essay The following appeared in a health magazine The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles Their responses to a recent survey show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they d

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
501 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • The following appeared in a health magazine The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles Their responses to a recent survey show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they d