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The development of modern technology in communication has benefited some people; however, others have had no benefits at all. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The development of modern technology in communication has benefited some people; however, others have had no benefits at all. 7a9db
The past few decades have seen a significant improvement in communications automation in modern society. Although, some people proclaim that such a development is beneficial to many aspects of human life while others disagree and contend that it leads to negative outcomes. In my opinion, I would say the advantages of advanced automation in connection are undeniable and will be discussed in detail in this essay. To begin with, the modern technological connection has created a profound impact on human's daily life. Social media, namely Facebook and Twitter, has built a bridge that allows people to connect with their loved ones or share common interests with others. Thus, this brings each individual closer to each other and provides a convenient channel to help people stay in touch. Also, the development of modern technology in communication has also broken barriers between nations. Tele-conferencing, for instance, helps people from different countries to conduct an immediate meeting. People are also able to make purchases efficiently and have their items delivered to their doorsteps. These few examples, thus represent the way people communicate has been generally affected by technology. On the other hand, some people would argue that such a technological connection way has greatly violated people’s privacy. However, this risk can be mitigated by using adequate security systems and firewalls that are capable of protecting privacy while carrying out any activity online. A strong filter system, for example, can be monitored by each individual as they concerned to secure personal data on the Internet. Also, some optionally personal information can be decided to be revealed on the social networks by the users. As a result, people’s private details can be protected. In conclusion, thousands of people have greatly benefited from making use of modern intelligence innovations and it has brought many changes to the way people live and work. However, the dangers of this development can be mitigated by ensuring necessary security systems are put in place.
The past few decades have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a significant improvement in communications automation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
society. Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
proclaim that such a development is beneficial to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of human life while others disagree and contend that it leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcomes. In my opinion, I would say the advantages of advanced automation in connection are undeniable and will
be discussed
in detail in this essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
technological connection has created a profound impact on human's daily life. Social media,
namely
Facebook and Twitter, has built a bridge that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to connect with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones or share common interests with others.
Thus
, this brings each individual closer to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and provides a convenient channel to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stay in touch.
Also
, the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
technology in communication has
also
broken barriers between nations.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tele-conferencing
,
for instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries to conduct an immediate meeting.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are
also
able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
efficiently
and have their items delivered to their doorsteps. These few examples,
thus
represent the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
communicate has been
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by technology.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would argue that such a technological connection way has
greatly
violated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
privacy.
However
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
can
be mitigated
by using adequate security systems and firewalls that are capable of protecting privacy while carrying out any activity online. A strong filter system,
for example
, can
be monitored
by each individual as they concerned to secure personal data on the Internet.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
optionally
personal information can
be decided
to
be revealed
on the social networks by the users.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
can
be protected
.

In conclusion
, thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
greatly
benefited from making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
intelligence innovations and it has brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and work.
However
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of this development can
be mitigated
by ensuring necessary security systems
are put
in place.
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IELTS essay The development of modern technology in communication has benefited some people; however, others have had no benefits at all.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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