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The care of old people is a growing problem. Some say the government should care for old people. Others say that it is the family’s responsibility. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

The care of old people is a growing problem. Some say the government should care for old people. Others say that it is the family’s responsibility. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion 9L7Er
Many countries are facing huge challenge to handle their old people. Many believe that responsibility should lie with governments. However, I believe that each family should take owns to handle their old generations. On the one hand, many people are having views that government should take care of old people as they have been paying huge taxes throughout their working age. In old age, medical expenses also increase due to regular check-ups and exorbitant prices of routine medicines. Only government has funds to fully support and cover aged population. For instance, many European countries has given free medical facilities for aged people above certain age, so they won't put extra burden on their families and live an honored life. On the other hand, I believe that individual families should take responsibility of their elders. Ultimately, they have put a lot of hard work and accumulated wealth for their kids, so when old need help, kids should take the responsibility. For instance, if one generation has set up some business that would be passed on to their descendants so they must take care of families old people. In conclusion, Today, number of old people and taking care of them is a huge concern for almost all countries. Government should definitely try to start old age homes and other programs which can help those who didn't have anyone to take care of them. However, primary responsibility is always with immediate family.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
countries are facing huge challenge to handle their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
should lie with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
.
However
, I believe that each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
should take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
to handle their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
generations.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are having views that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as they have been paying huge taxes throughout their working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, medical expenses
also
increase due to regular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
-ups and exorbitant prices of routine medicines.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has funds to
fully
support and cover aged population.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
European countries has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
free medical facilities for aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
above certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they won't put extra burden on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
an honored life.

On the other hand
, I believe that individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
should take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
of their elders.
Ultimately
, they have put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and accumulated wealth for their kids,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
, kids should take the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
.
For instance
, if one generation has set up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
business that would
be passed
on to their descendants
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of them is a huge concern for almost all countries.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should definitely try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
homes and other programs which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
those who didn't have anyone to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of them.
However
, primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
is always with immediate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
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IELTS essay The care of old people is a growing problem. Some say the government should care for old people. Others say that it is the family’s responsibility. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
239 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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