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The amount of time spend on sport and excercise should be increased in school in order to tackle the problme of overweight children? Do you think this the best way to deal with the problems? What other solutions can you suggest?

It is suggested that school should be participate in helping their pupil with overweight problems by increase the amount of time dedicating to physical activity. With this method, children are expected to become physically fitter and possesses a better shape. It is agreed by some that nowadays students are spending a tremendous amount of time sitting in their classroom, which does not require a good amount of bodily activity, along with modern day's life style having tight schedule which leave little room for anyone to excercise. Therefore, by replacing the time they would be spending in a room with workout session will surely make stundent act more physically. This is benefitial to everyone, especially to the one who is suffers from a physical probems such as overweight. However, the additonal workout routine must be professionally regulated in order to prevent any danger while also being sensibly arrange in a way that it will not disturb the academic study. Moving on, school intervention asides, there exist other practice one could adopt to fit the goal. The most crucial one being the spreading the awareness of health issues and the self-improvment mindset while also encourage the playing of sports. This method will create a discipline in any individual to be active due to the knowledge of physical health and at the same time drawing people to participate in a sporting game. Another helpful suggestion is to create an environment where people could easily excercise. Having a clean and sturdy running mill or giving free access to workout equipments are a few examples. Lastly, the regulation of the individual own body will decreases the rate of disease such as obesity. In conclusion, Excercise is healthy and should be encourage everywhere. Many social parties are better to come hand in hand and support the practice of excercising. In the future, we might be able to create a better and healthier lifesyle.
It
is suggested
that school should be
participate
in helping their pupil with overweight problems by increase the amount of
time
dedicating to physical activity. With this method, children are
expected
to become
physically
fitter and possesses a better shape.

It is
agreed
by
some
that nowadays students are spending a tremendous amount of
time
sitting in their classroom, which does not require a
good
amount of
bodily
activity, along with modern day's
life style
having tight schedule which
leave
little
room for anyone to
excercise
.
Therefore
, by replacing the
time
they would be spending in a room with workout session will
surely
make
stundent
act more
physically
. This is
benefitial
to everyone,
especially
to the one who is suffers from a physical
probems
such as overweight.
However
, the
additonal
workout routine
must
be
professionally
regulated in order to
prevent
any
danger
while
also
being
sensibly
arrange in a way that it will not disturb the academic study.

Moving on, school intervention asides, there exist other practice one could
adopt to
fit the goal. The most crucial one being the spreading the awareness of health issues and the
self-improvment
mindset while
also
encourage the playing of sports. This method will create a discipline in any individual to be active due to the knowledge of physical health and at the same
time
drawing
people
to participate in a sporting game. Another helpful suggestion is to create an environment where
people
could
easily
excercise
. Having a clean and sturdy running mill or giving free access to
workout
equipments are a few examples.
Lastly
, the regulation of the individual
own
body will
decreases
the rate of disease such as obesity.

In conclusion
,
Excercise
is healthy and should be
encourage
everywhere.
Many
social parties are better to
come
hand in hand and support the practice of
excercising
. In the future, we might be able to create a better and healthier
lifesyle
.
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IELTS essay The amount of time spend on sport and excercise should be increased in school in order to tackle the problme of overweight children? Do you think this the best way to deal with the problems? What other solutions can you suggest?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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